Netflix Retrospective: Iron Fist episodes 9-10 - The Mistress of All Agonies/Black Tiger Steals Heart

The Mistress of All Agonies

We open in the park where Ward dumped Harold’s body, take a good long look at it because Harold is rising from the grave. He looks around and breathes for a bit, then takes out the knife in his stomach and crawls slowly out of the lake and the music tells us this is supposed to be epic, but… nah, roll credits.

So, you remember that idea that was 'fundamentally stupid' of bringing Gao back to the US, well, they’ve brought Gao back to the US and have her tied up in Colleen’s dojo. Gao refuses to talk, well aware that Danny won’t harm her. Danny is injured and Claire and Colleen talk him out of torturing her… you are well aware that Handing her over the authorities would see her back on the streets in minutes, if not by corruption then by her own power. Oh yeah, she’s not using that power because… I think she just enjoys f*cking about with the dumbass trio.

“So now you’re ganging up on me” – an actual adult said this. I feel actively dumber. Claire recommends giving Sodium Pentathol to Gao, truth serum that might be available at Rand labs. Colleen seems very on-edge, but agrees with Claire, preferring that over torture. Harold heads towards some kids playing with a damaged fire hydrant, the mother is upset for some reason. This long, slow walk is gonna take up most of the episode, isn’t it?

So, Joy has worked out that Harold bought the building they went up last night before he died, he then sees Danny and brings him up to speed on what’s happened with the company. She asks Danny about the building and can sense straight away that he’s lying to her. Back at the long walk of Harold Meachum, I’m going to skip this scene, you can thank me later.

Claire gives Gao some water, and Gao gives her character arc, supposedly. I’m not sure what about it, I’d say it’s mostly bullsh*t but you can see it striking some nerves. It’s at least entertaining to watch. Gao remarks that Colleen doesn’t look well, something which will come up later. Danny breaks into the lab but is soon spotted because he’s about as stealthy as a rhino. Thankfully he convinces the person who spotted him to help him.

Time for Colleen to get the Gao treatment. Gao warns her that her men are coming before Colleen starts feeling weak and calls Claire. Time for more Harold stuff, skip. Kyle comes to pick him up, haven’t heard from him for a while, and you can guess what will happen to him here. Meanwhile, a guy enters a food truck, knocks out the driver, and gets out a magazine about Danny. This is Davos, but we won’t find out about him until later.

We cut to Ward entering his father’s apartment, he suspects something’s up and is horrified to see Harold alive and in front of him. Rather than stabbing him with the knife, he hugs Ward and says he’s sorry. This is only slightly less creepy. Danny arrives back at the Dojo, Colleen insists that she’s fine. Claire measures a fair dose and successfully injects her.

It turns out Gao used Danny’s mother to make contact with his father, but he refused to make a deal so they offered it to Harold instead, who was more than willing. Colleen comes out and we see she got a cut and was poisoned. Gao was able to resist the sodium pentothal, so we can’t believe anything she said at face value. Though given her mood it was probably being honest the whole time. Colleen asks that Danny call someone called Sensei.

Meanwhile, Davos is busy f*cking with the road chef guy when he hears someone say that target Rand is in the Collen Dojo, that’s plot convenience right there. Harold asks what Ward wants, Ward wants a life away from his father’s (demonic) shadow, hard to tell if he’s being honest or not. Harold seems to agree, but then mentions that he’ll have to bring Joy into it.

The lights go out at the dojo, gas fills the room as Hand agents burst through the ceiling. It’s not easy to see but all of them get to kick some ass. But it’s only the first wave. Gao promises the antidote for Colleen if they release her. Meanwhile Ward heads to the hatchet men for some answers about killing his father, they have no answer but they warn him that with each resurrection, the mental state becomes worse. Ward takes some of the synthetic heroin for some reason.

Kyle packs up, ready to go but Harold has a surprise for him, ice cream. It’s because Kyle said he’d eat ice cream if he discovered he’s immortal. He asks for vanilla, not wanting any fancy flavours, Harold, in a fit of craziness beats him to death for that remark. He comes to his senses too late to stop himself.

Ward comes out to find police searching his car, finding drugs on the seat and arresting him on the spot. He’s taken to the same mental hospital he sent Danny to in a moment I think is supposed to be ironic. Joy heads back to the building to investigate and finds the apartment, with her father alive. They embrace and it’s still very creepy.

Meanwhile, Bakuto arrives, having defeated Gao’s mercenary troops. Gao’s fear of him convinces Danny to open the door to him and doesn’t realise the personal connection that implies. Bakuto tells the Iron Fist to heal her but he doesn’t understand, Danny summons the Iron Fist, and uses his chi to burn away the poison. OK…

It works, but Danny passes out and soon Bakuto summons more men and takes Danny and Colleen away in cars, also Gao. Davos watches from the other side of the street.

It’s another setup episode that honestly doesn’t have much to offer other than teases.

Rating 6.5/10

Black Tiger Steals Heart

Danny wakes up on a bed with Colleen. Ready to have some drama shoved down your throat. Good, this episode will serve you perfectly. Joy understands why Ward is the way he is and berates Harold for what he did. Harold tries to explain his side and… this is dull as sh*t, can we move on? Harold advises her not to use the blackmail plan and let Hogarth sort them out in court. She may wish to say things under oath. Unbeknownst to Joy, Kyle’s body is in one of the tanks. 8 minutes of that, roll credits.

And honestly, the credits are growing on me, I still wish they’d gone for a more Asian style sound, but the martial arts in credits are superior to anything on screen. Danny and Colleen are in a school of sorts, they train in martial arts. Bakuto welcomes them and says that Danny needs to recharge his chi to use the Iron Fist again. Bakuto can help him… because… I already told you he’s with the Hand, what do you expect at this point. Danny is an idiot

Bakuto’s school takes in potentially vulnerable people and gives them a secure community to be a part of. He asks about Gao, she’s being held until they can be sure arresting her would procure the results they desire. Danny asks what Bakuto gets out of it all. Time for Bakuto to rain an anti-capitalism speech down on you.

We see some footage of the Iron Fist in the 1940s, defeating some Chinese soldiers. This sparked Bakuto’s obsession with the Iron Fist. He wants supposedly to stop Gao’s drugs, which have been hurting his students, among others. Danny gets a call from Harold and like a dumbass he tells him everything. OK, Danny’s needed to get Rand back, fine and good.

In the mood to celebrate, Harold brings out the drinks but when Joy refuses he displays his violent temper by smashing the bottle. Bet that was expensive too. Bakuto gets told about the call by a guard and asks to trace and for its exact contents. Colleen enters and they have a secret and she doesn’t like being dishonest. Already told you, they’re part of the Hand, moving on.

Danny finds Daryl, yup you remember the kid from Colleen’s class, he came here. He explains that’s it’s great here, all sunshine and rainbows and no bushy moustaches and all that. There’s a night curfew and a few areas off limits, that’s it. As for those areas off limits, guess where Danny’s heading. Danny sneaks into a house with 2 very dumb guards outside and a couple inside, who are also dumb. There’s a camera into Gao’s cell, but Gao can see and talk to Danny too.

Gao hints at what’s going on but you don’t get Danny with subtlety, before she can just speak, Bakuto finds him and takes him away, telling him he won’t find answers with her. He takes him back to Colleen. But Danny isn’t entirely at ease, he saw a knife used by the Hand in Bakuto’s office. So, about that drama, Colleen tells Danny that Bakuto is in fact with the Hand but Gao’s forces are a rogue element and Danny is having none of it. It’s funny when he’s right, because I still have trouble rooting for him.

He’s childish, but that’s not entirely the problem, it’s that the show seems so unaware of it… or at the very least it’s played far too straight. That’s a problem this series really has in terms of adapting Iron Fist. Danny Rand is a light-hearted character, but this very unfamiliar territory with Netflix Marvel, Danny may have better suited to Marvel’s main studio, but then they couldn’t use him in the Defenders.

Danny storms out. Bakuto pays a visit to Harold, proposing a partnership that means he can enter the public eye once again. Night curfew begins at the school, and it’s heavily fortified. Danny heads out and the music implies he’s supposed to be stealthy but he really isn’t being. He breaks off a grate and enters Bakuto’s office, hearing that he has basically the whole city monitored. Danny has a temper tantrum and breaks everything. Bakuto arrives and the two begins to fight, Danny wins rather easily and runs into guards who are taken down by Davos

Harold pays a visit to Douchebag McAsshole, showing him the blackmail material. If he doesn’t kill himself, he’s gonna release everything, when that doesn’t work, he shoots him and gets an associate to make it look like suicide. And it’s time for a hallway fight but it’s full of cuts all over the place. The alarm goes off and everyone, including Colleen and Daryl, Bakuto recovers and has an arrow which he uses against Danny, Davos retaliates by breaking Daryl’s leg. Everything that’s happened has cut off Danny’s chi and he can’t access it, so Bakuto sends his students to take them down

Collen opens the door and allows their escape, shutting the door behind them to limit the numbers that follow. Daryl is sent to be patched up. Joy goes back to the board and convinces them to reinstate the Meachums and Danny… so what part of the plan was Danny supposed to be highly involved in again?

Joy asks for the truth regarding Douchebag McAsshole, Harold said he didn’t have him killed, which is I guess true since he did the deed himself. Now though, they have to deal with Bakuto, for some reason. Colleen walks through the streets as Davos says he’s taking Danny back to K’un L’un since the way is open and no-one is there to protect. I’ll get back to this in my next retrospective.

This episode had some good moments but if you saw the whole Bakuto is Hand thing coming, which I did, then this is mostly very very boring.

Rating 6.5/10