#6 Teen Titans #0

Oh lord do I hate this comic, I'm just gonna get it out there now. A team of super-heroes, several of whom who haven't had proper origin stories ever and they decide to revamp Tim Drake's origin

Lots of background for this, sorry about that

When DC relaunched their line with the New 52, it was decided to make September a specials month. In September 2011, the titles all restarted from their #1 issues, in September 2013 they looked at the villains as to tie into Forever Evil, in September 2014, they’ll take a  5 year jump to have a one-shot tie into Future’s end. But today we’re looking at September 2012, the month of zero issues. Each were looking to retell, tell, or add to the titular hero’s origin story. Some of the ones I've read are good (see Nightwing #0) others weren't. I’ll be looking at the two stinkers of the pile, both conveniently written by the same writer: Scott Lobdell.

I don’t particularly enjoy the writing of Scott Lobdell. I'm not all that familiar with his pre-New 52 works but his works on Teen Titans, Superboy and Red Hood and the Outlaws haven't engaged me. As Teen Titans is my favourite non-Batman series, I kept buying them but this issue is what stopped me in my tracks, that's how much I dislike this.

So, before we look into how Lobdell butchered Tim Drake's origin, I'll briefly overview the old one.

Tim Drake first appeared in the Batman/Teen Titans Crossover entitled ‘A lonely place of dying.’ In this book, he was a spectator at Haly's Circus on the night Dick Grayson's parents died and was shown a flip that only a few people in the world could do. When watching Batman in the media he saw Robin perform the same flip and realised Robin's secret identity as Dick Grayson, knowing that Dick was taken in by Bruce Wayne and discovering about the murder of his parents, Tim correctly concluded that Bruce Wayne was Batman.

 

Tim confronts Dick Grayson in this story, for... reasons Dick Grayson is not involved in Tim's new origin

After the death of Jason Todd, Tim Drake saw that Batman was getting sloppier. He sought out Dick Grayson, now known as Nightwing, hoping to convince him to dawn the Robin mantle once again. Dick Grayson, not wanting to step down from the Nightwing persona, decided to re-join Bruce but in his Nightwing persona. Not thinking this would be good enough, Tim Drake puts on the Robin suit himself and in doing so saves Nightwing and Batman from a trap set by Two-Face. Bruce eventually agreed to allow Tim to take the Robin mantle but first forced to undergo intensive training so he wouldn't face the same fate as Jason Todd.

The story of Tim Drake finding out who Batman is, the story they entirely ruin in this comic

It also explains why Dick Grayson is necessary in the story, why this one does not work

The point I'm getting at here is that Tim Drake's primary skill is being a detective

Unlike previous Robins, Tim Drake had living parents, at the beginning he was just sent to boarding school but his family played their parts. His mother, Janet, died from drinking poisoned water. This gave Tim's father a desire to reconnect with his son, forcing Tim constantly have to lie to him, this subject came up many times. Jack eventually did find out, and Tim was forced to quit but during the ‘War games’ arc, the gang war forced Tim back into the game, Jack begrudgingly accepts. During Identity Crisis. Jack Drake was murdered by Captain Boomerang, sending Tim in a downward spiral.

When Bruce was ‘killed’ in final crisis. Dick Grayson, who was taking the mantle of Batman chose Damian Wayne as his Robin, feeling Tim Drake was an equal rather than a student in need of guidance like Damian Wayne was. Feeling shunned out, Tim took a new costume, and the extraordinarily creative name of ‘Red Robin’ (a moniker taken by Dick Grayson in Kingdom Come, and an alternate Jason Todd in a Robin issue and Countdown)

So, let's dive into Teen Titans #0 and see just how much of all that is completely ruined.

We start with Tim doing a gymnastics routine, completely and utterly flawlessly.

“There’s no surprise ending to this story” – Good, then I don't need to read it then (chucks title in the bin, then sighs) but then how will I finish this review? Ah well. (Takes comic out of book and resumes reading)

Batman seems to be the narrator of this story, funny considering he ISN'T A TEEN TITAN! He tells the readers that
“Tim was already amazing before I met him. Tim pushed himself because he wanted to be the best. The best gymnast. The best student. The best at everything. And he was” – Screw having someone with character to develop, I'll just make him instantly great at everything.

"Proud Parents" how about "Go Tim" or something encouraging rather than embarrassing? 

I don't entirely blame Lobdell for this (although I blame him for most of it) one of the issues of the New 52 in general is that the timeline has been condensed. Now the entire of Batman's history takes place over 6 years (where before it was at least 10). So, no more intensive training for Tim, he's out as Robin sooner and that's that. Tim's dad probably embarrasses him by holding up a sign saying ‘proud parents!’ whilst two elderly looking people skulk off into the shadows. Tim Drake is showered with praise from gym buddies and then again from his parents, who offer to take him for dessert but he refuses saying he’s got a ‘project’ to work on. And they make no enquiries whatsoever as to what that project is. (Great parenting at work)

Meanwhile it's revealed that the two elderly men skulking in the shadows are in fact Batman and Alfred. Alfred had suggested they take the trip because Tim is ideal candidate for the mantle of Robin. Yes, it is as stupid as it sounds. Bruce says no because Tim has a family and he doesn't want to take a dead Robin to his parents. (Which is possibly the most sensible(ish) thing he says all issue, of course it would've been better to have said no BEFORE he went out and watched his gym class) (Of course had his parents been dead, Batman would've happily put him in mortal danger)

Later that night, Tim enters his house and he and his dad talk about how he's so perfect and his family's holding him back (I think I might throw up.) Tim says that's nonsense and goes to bed (gee, I hope nothing bad happens to them...)

 

Batman and Alfred dressed up to watch Tim Drake, weirdly under Alfred's suggestion

Tim sneaks out the window to work on that project he didn't take a lift home with his parents to work on earlier. Batman continues to narrate (get used to it, it's pretty much the entire comic) Tim had worked out that Batman hadn't been himself and that it was related to Robin’s disappearance. He sneaks into the Gotham Aviary and is confronted by Batman. Who apparently (and this makes me roll me eyes, a lot) had laid a false trail for Tim to follow to lead him here and Tim had fallen for it. So we can scratch detective off the list, you know the bit I said was Tim's MOST ICONIC TRAIT!

Tim then shows that he's borderline insane by saying he wants to sign up as Robin and sign any papers, so it doesn't look like Batman’s a paedophile (too late really, he was already watching his gym routine) Batman says that it's not a game and to let it be (which he would've had to have done eventually if you'd just not bothered planting false trails to lead him everywhere and honestly this false trails and visiting a guy in school already makes him look like a paedophile) Batman disappears. Tim says:

“Gone? But How?!” clichéd dialogue at its worst

 

"I want to sign up for a part that got someone killed and I'm perfectly sane by the way"

Tim decided not to end it there, continuing his research. Batman tries to dissuade him on social media (Batman should NOT HAVE SOCIAL MEDIA) under the frankly brilliant name of Real_Bat_01 (1. Batman still shouldn't have social media. 2) This is Gotham City, there must be dozens of people wanting that name. 3) Why would Batman have a username that clearly states that he's Batman? People can track IP addresses! 4) More evidence of Batman being a paedophile) But apparently he was unsuccessful (imagine that) and Tim Drake, now having totally gone off the edge, had just used his computer steal the Penguin's fortune.

 

*Sigh*

Batman races to the Drake household and Tim finally realises that he was being a f*cking idiot when the Penguin's men attack. Batman arrives and saves him. Tim wants to help but Batman tells him to sod off and takes the men down. Tim finds his parents alive and are faring rather well, considering.

This won't be the last time Batman pulls Tim's ass out of the fire, just hopefully the only time you wish he hadn't

We cut to a scene several hours later, where Batman tells Tim that Tim's parents want Batman to watch over him (I mean who better to look after your perfect (and by perfect I mean psychotic) boy than a man dressed as a Bat, who frequently puts his life at risk) Tim's parents will be under witness protection and Batman, for some reason that's beyond me, accepts Tim as his partner. Tim apologises to his parents and they take it unrealistically well. They hug and part ways (goodbye Tim's parents, was nice knowing you, doubt we'll ever see you again, so nice of Lobdell to bring you back)

I really don't know what strings Batman can pull in the Justice Department but I doubt it extends to 'allowing to take a boy whose parents are in witness protection under his wing to become the next Robin'

Batman reveals his identity as Bruce Wayne and takes him to the Batcave. Alfred says:
“It feels like we are the ones on audition for the job” – of course, only the worthy can take the perfect Tim Drake. Tim reveals himself in costume, and says he'll call himself ‘Red Robin’ so as not to insult the memory of Jason Todd. (Except we've seen him referred to as Robin in Teen Titans #1, Batman #1 and Batman and Robin #11 at least; also, wow, so respectful to the dead taking the identity of said dead person and adding the word ‘Red’) and so ends the issue.

THIS COMIC GIVES ME RAGE ISSUES

The art is OK but the story is tragic. Tim Drake is depicted as a mentally challenged, physically superior person who every-one must bow down before and it's sickening. The fact that Tim Drake didn't work out Bruce Wayne was Batman takes away one of his defining traits (bearing in mind, in Nightwing #0, Dick Grayson worked it out) and the fact that he was rewarded for nearly getting his family killed leaves a really bad taste.

Batman's portrayal in this is just as woeful. At times it seems Lobdell wants to make Batman the superior being but at the same time, it works very much in the wrong way. The fact that either he or Alfred knew about the boy at all is puzzling and does have some quite sinister connotations.

 

YOU ASKED FOR THIS, NOW SHUT UP AND WEAR THE F*CKING SUIT YOU WHINY LITTLE BRAT!!!!

Tim Drake's parents are way too forgiving, they're supportive and kind but little else. The scene where Jack essentially tells Tim he needs to move on is not something a parent would say to his child that out of the blue (at least not while he's as young as he is). His mother gets less screen-time but they both seem way too forgiving of the fact that he nearly got them killed. While it's by no means a bad thing that Tim's parents are alive, they are not put in a position where they can be prominent characters, so I have to ask what the point was?

Then there's the more prominent problem. THIS IS A TEEN TITANS COMIC! The only shots we get of any other members of the team, is the cover and one panel of the Bat-computer near the end of the issue. There are several members of the Teen Titans that a) don't appear in any other books and b) haven't had definitive origin stories before. Those would've been much better choices for this book. Also Batman is way too prominent a character, narrating the whole issue and appearing in considerable chunks of it. It seems less like a natural creative choice, and more a latch onto the “Batman sells” bandwagon.

I don't entirely blame Lobdell for this, trying to adapt a 6-issue series in 1 issue is tough enough without the problem of fitting it into a condensed timeline. Also I can't say for certain but it could be editorial forcing him to do Bat-family characters for zero-year. But I do blame him for the rest of this cr*ppy comic.

Rage rating: 95%

Next: Coming next is Red Hood and the Outlaws #0 where (and I’m not kidding here) Joker creates a Robin

Teen Titans #0 and Batman: A Lonely place of Dying are published by DC Comics, images used here under fair use.

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