Praise4Media #63 - Venom

How do you make a Venom story without Spider-man? Easy, there are hundreds of venom comics you can adapt for that? How do you make a Venom origin story without spider-man? Now that’s a trickier question.

When the Amazing Spider-man 2 was filmed, it was intended as a springboard for spin-off properties, in theory not a bad idea but it was handled so clumsily it brought down the reception of the whole film. The Amazing Spider-man 2 made decent money, but not enough for Sony executives to be satisfied, so they reached a deal with Marvel to bring a new version of the web-head into the MCU.

But the idea of spin-offs wasn’t dropped entirely, they were just distanced from any spider-man legacy. So, we are back to our original question: How do you do a venom origin without spider-man?

Grappling with the answer to this question is Jeff Pinker, who co-wrote the Amazing Spider-man 2, Dark Tower and the modern Jumanji movies, Scott Rosenberg, who did an uncredited revision of the first Raimi Spider-man movie, and also the modern Jumanji films (also Kangaroo Jack), and Kelly Marcel, who co-wrote saving Mr Banks and unfortunately did the screenplay for the original 50 Shades of Grey movie. I will never dignify those movies with reviews, so never ask. So mixed bag there then. Directing the film is Ruben Fleischer of the Zombieland films. Wikipedia says he’s directing Uncharted but with the way that project’s going through directors I’m sure if it hasn’t already, it will have changed in the 2 months between me writing this review and it being published.

The film had a budget of $116m and surpassed expectations, making $856m, more than half of the live action Spider-man films made, though less than the more recent MCU outings. It certainly created a divide between audiences and critics, with critics giving it a 29% Rotten Tomatoes rating with an average 4.42/10 score and audiences giving it an 80% rating with an average 4.02/5 score. So, where do I stand? let’s take a look…

We open with a space shuttle returning to Earth, but there are issues aboard, and the ship ends up crashing in a fiery blaze in East Malaysia. We cut to the latest in a long line of generic evil corporations lead by Riz Ahmed playing Carlton Drake, doing his best impression of an MCU phase 1 (read: Iron Man) villain.

They’ve recovered 3 of the alien life samples they had aboard but one has escaped. One of the astronauts survived, John Jameson (played by Chris O’Hara, a criminally underrated stunt performer) there’s no J Jonah in this film before you get your hopes up. John wakes up en-route to the hospital but it seems not all is well as he creates blades with his hands and kills the ambulance staff, before crashing the ambulance. One of the staff, miraculously alive again exits the van, her wounds automatically healing, she looks at a patch, presumably ripped off the now dead astronaut, referring to the Life Foundation, the aforementioned evil corporation.

One title card later we cut to San Francisco, home to one Eddie Brock (Tom Hardy) and one very Pepper Potts looking woman named Anne Weying (Michelle Williams). She’s preparing a deposition in the defence of the Life Foundation and he’s an investigative journalist. After several transition shots of the city, we cut to Eddie riding to work on a motorbike. Eddie does a bit called the Eddie Brock report because that’s easier to portray visually. He looks at the controversial topics and begins asking the tough questions. So, what every journalist claims to do when they’re not coming up with fluff clickbait sh*t. So, to give us a vague history of his work

Eddie is a dick, parking right in front of the Network building despite being told he can’t. We’re introduced to his boss, he’s the guy who plays Fish in Luke Cage (Ron Cephas Jones) and we find out Eddie’s afraid of heights, sure that absolutely won’t come into play later. He’s giving an interview with Carlton Drake, but tells him to lay off the hard questions, less Drake’s money be used to sink them. So, quick question, why come to him? Drake wants to use the interview to assure the public believe the rocket programme is still safe and viable despite the crash.

Apparently, Eddie was already involved an incident working for the Daily Globe that got him run out of New York. If you want any further context to this, too bad. Eddie tells Anne that he’s gonna do his job business as usual. Speaking of business as usual, the two make out. Eddie wakes up during the night and because he’s an idiot of the highest degree, sees a confidential file addressed to his fiancée and thinks it might be a good idea to confront Drake with the contents of said file, a file that links the Life Foundation to 3 deaths.

You could argue this as a moral dilemma, but that was the subject of the legal battle in the first place, if it’s further evidence, he could’ve reported it to the police (and kept his role confidential), but instead chose to confront the boss directly on camera, directly linking his findings to his fiancée, and ultimately getting them both fired and ruining their relationship, this was the only possible outcome here.  

The three remaining samples are delivered to Drake, who smiles at the sight of them as the nurse from the ambulance arrives at a town in a cloud of eerie fog, she picks up an eel from a bucket and eats it raw, before killing the guy demanding payment for it. Several more demand retribution but also end up killed pretty quickly. One woman survives and we see the venom symbiote pass onto her.

6 months later, Drake is conducting tests on the… I’m just gonna call them symbiotes to avoid confusion, and it’s revealed they can’t survive in an oxygen rich environment without a host, bear that in mind for when Venom actually decides to show up. But they’re having issues which essentially boil down to compatibility, although one particular white rabbit seems to survive.

Drake orders his doctor to begin human trials, against her better judgement. Eddie is in a bar, drowning his sorrows, he heads home, giving 20 bucks to a homeless woman so she won’t sing, with the bonus of getting a free newspaper. He enters a convenience store, which conveniently gets robbed by a guy who I guess works for the mob since he’s talking about protection money. Eddie for the moment stays out of it, our hero.

He enters his apartment, waters his dead looking plant and feeds himself on noodles and beer whilst looking for jobs… How has he been able to afford to do anything in the last 6 months. It seems it’s all about to come crashing down as he does have overdue bills and is struggling to land even the most basic jobs. A pseudonym isn’t a bad idea either.

He begins meditating with a tape that claimed was in mandarin only a few moments ago, but isn’t. It’s interrupted by some loud guitarist; Eddie makes some faces and buries his face in his pillow. Back at the life foundation, their first human guinea pig is ready to undergo testing. Great time for Drake to monologue.

The symbiosis appears to be successful, for a few moments before the host dies. Now, that symbiote should be dying due the oxygen in the air, but nope. Next volunteer it is. Back with Eddie, he finds he’s being followed by Dr Dora Skirth (Jenny Slate), one of the Doctors at the Life Foundation, the one who was against human trials. Eddie wants nothing to do with it, Eddie ends up by his ex’s place, and is introduced to her new man, Dr Dan Lewis (Reid Scott).

It goes about as well as it possibly could’ve in that Eddie only feels worse for having gone here. Giving it some thought on the bridge, he calls Dora Skirth and she smuggles him into the facility. Apparently, Mr Drake is looking to set up real estate on other planets, believing the Earth to be doomed because of climate change and out to make a fortune. Yeah, I see past your altruism there, pal. The shuttle was a scout ship, which encountered an asteroid with thousands of life signs, they brought samples to Earth and that’s when everything went tits up.

She gives Drake access to the lab whilst she distracts a guard with pathetic excuses. Eddie comes in taking pictures of attempted hosts, including the homeless woman who sold him a newspapers, apparently it’s been at least a week since then. She demands to be released and Eddie tries, setting off an alarm, she attacks, and the symbiote passes over to him, leaving her to die.

With the alarms blazing, Eddie races to find a way out, showing unnatural reflexes as he fights off the guards, and strength as he kicks down a door and tears through a fence. He heads into the woods as the guards pursue, but it’s clear something else is helping him escape, eventually bringing him into the trees, out of sight.

He tries to call Dora but she isn’t answering. He begins downing water, then uncooked frozen food, then goes as far as eating chicken out of the bin, before immediately having to puke. I swear he must have the world’s fastest digestive system for that to happen. Drake is brought up to speed but in spite of one symbiote going missing, another has fully bonded with one of his hosts. He orders tests increased and the other symbiote found.

Eddie wakes up, barely remembering the events of the night before, though getting a quick flash of them on her phone. The woman who the symbiote from earlier attached itself to enters an airport bathroom. Eddie calls for help as a voice in his head calls for feed, and not one of his own. He interrupts Anne and Dan’s date at posh restaurant, much to Anne’s chargin, he grabs a lobster from a waiter and bites into it. Hope you can pay for that because you will be. He then jumps into the fish tank, feeling hot.

Dan actually covers for him, sorta, calling him a patient to avoid the police getting involved. He takes a living lobster and bites into that this time, much like the woman did with the eel earlier on. Dan takes Eddie to the hospital, into an MRI scanner, and the scanner seems to have an unfortunate effect, giving us glimpses of the Venom to come. Dan tells Eddie to go home and get some rest, and will call when the test results come in. Not sure what tests since the MRI scanner didn’t complete but… He’s a clear and obvious public danger, telling him to go home is a bad idea.

That host that had undergone successful symbiosis earlier is still dying, the symbiote eating his organs. It’s also exceptionally vulnerable to high pitch sounds. But that’s gonna have to be put on the table for now, as Dora has been caught out. The symbiote is hungry again and gets Eddie up on his journey home. He begins cooking a lot of something as Anne calls, she, rather than any actual doctor, says he has a parasite. Dan eventually interjects, hand waving off the other issues and saying he’ll provide some medicine.

The guitar noise plays again, but this time Eddie confronts the guy, making more faces ultimately scares him off. Back at the Life Foundation, Drake tries to be manipulative but ultimately doesn’t come off as such. I don’t think Riz Ahmed was the best casting choice here, he does not pull this off at all. I don’t buy him as this evil corporate guy they portray him as. She eventually reveals it was Eddie Brock who came to the lab, I swear either of the guards he knocked out could’ve told him that. He leaves her with a symbiote so she’s more than likely dead.

Immediately a strike team arrive at Eddie’s house, it might’ve worked better if they’d stitched the scenes with Dora and Together and Eddie in the home together, this way around it seems like the guys teleported to the door. The Symbiote decides to help take them down, exposing parts of itself that react badly to oxygen, this plot point was stupid and makes no sense.

Then venom suggests eating their heads, doesn’t explain why didn’t just kill them, Eddie doesn’t want to do that because… yuk. Chase scene time, the security team launch drones that explode on impact, which seems counter-productive, but the symbiote manages to keep Eddie safe from the suicide drones. With the drones taken care of, it’s the cars that need to be dealt with, the symbiote drives so fast up a hill that when it levels out, he launches 20ft into the air, I guess you can’t argue with the physics of an alien goo monster.

2 cars eventually attempt to sandwich him, but the symbiote reaches into the cars and redirects them, as Eddie looks at the carnage behind him, he crashes into a vehicle in front of him. Why didn’t the symbiote see this coming, he could see through a shut door earlier. The symbiote heals Eddie’s injuries and takes over his body, biting the head off a guard who shot him, but because this is PG-13 film, no blood.

He then takes off across the river at a speed that would make Olympic swimmers jealous. He can now create a face to talk to Eddie, telling him he needs Carlton Drake’s rocket and Eddie is his ride, also, they’ll likely eat more people on the way. Such a loving couple. A plane lands in San Francisco, with the symbiote now possessing a little girl.

Thanks to an open door, and some the daft bit of writing, the symbiote that failed to bond to Dora is now dead, so now Drake needs Eddie alive. Dan gives a call to Anne, telling her the results from the tests suggests the parasite is much more aggressive than originally thought, she tries to find him as his apartment but the police have cordoned it off after the attack. Venom asks who she is, funny for a guy who’s supposed to know everything inside Eddie’s head, it’s not like the two haven’t met, she was at the restaurant too.

Eddie is at his old workplace, there to provide the evidence from his phone to expose Drake. The guy at the desk turns him away, but the symbiote provides another way, climbing straight up the building. Unfortunately the noise from a plane causes the symbiote to back out, leaving Eddie to fall, see, he’s confronting his fear of heights. The symbiote stops the fall, and breaks him straight into the office, where he leaves a note.

Not wanting a repeat of earlier, Eddie takes the lift. But when he comes down to the ground, he finds a SWAT unit waiting for him. Venom quite easily takes them out and it’s another example of where PG-13 kinda makes it worse, also the darkness combined with the smoke makes it difficult to follow. Eddie stops Venom from snacking on one of them, forgetting the several he must’ve killed already from tossing them into electric screens. Annie makes it and has the expected reaction.

She then insists Eddie head to the hospital, but Eddie refuses to get in the car until the symbiote agrees to it. We then get some lazy exposition on the symbiote’s weaknesses that we already knew so skipping ahead, Venom encourages Eddie to apologise to her for all the shit that went down in the opening, which Eddie does, unfortunately they’re being followed by another suicide drone, although it seems the suicidal tendencies have for now been cut.

The little girl from earlier finds herself at the Life Foundation and the symbiote bonds itself to Drake, what a lucky co-incidence. It goes badly at the hospital, venom reaches to kill Dan, until Annie somehow activates the MRI so it projects outside the scanner and forces the symbiote off of Eddie. Eddie thanks them and runs off, as the Symbiote escapes through the air ducts. Lest we forget, oxygen is supposed to kill it.

Just as Eddie thinks he’s safe, the strike team knock him out and kidnap him. The symbiote finds itself in a dog and eyes Annie. Meanwhile, Drake does some more monologing. *Yawn* he leaves Eddie’s fate the security guards, who walk him out into the woods for no apparent reason. I suppose it’s easier for the symbiote to bite the lead’s head off that way. Venom had taken control of Annie, in a cute reference to She-Venom.

Venom, now bonding with Eddie again, informs him that the symbiote they encountered is Riot, one of the faction leaders. Venom explains that the original plan was to gather the rest of the symbiotes and feed on humanity but thanks to his ‘special relationship’ with Eddie, Venom has decided he doesn’t want that and instead wants to stop Riot.

Drake has got the rocket set to launch and kills just about everyone. Venom admits they don’t have much of a chance but they both decide to go in anyway. Time for the CGI fight of the century, to alien goo blobs smashing at each other, with all the quick cuts and camera moving that entails. Riot absorbs Venom but as it heads up to get in the rocket, Annie activates some high pitched sounds to force them apart. Venom is missing but Riot manages to rebond with Drake and kills Eddie.  Considering Venom’s wound-healing abilities, I can’t imagine how they’re going to fix this.

Annie I guess forgets about the high pitched noise as Riot manages to enter the rocket successfully this time. Venom bonds with Eddie, healing him and jumps to the rocket as it takes off, using the shard Riot used to kill him to destroy the rocket, Venom uses his essence to protect Eddie against the fire but as was established earlier, symbiotes don’t do well with fire.

Eddie falls into water, surviving without an injury, as we cut to daytime. And things seem to be getting better, Annie’s working pro-bono now, rather than as a defence attorney, Eddie was his show back, and they want him to start with a piece on Drake, but he turned it down in favour of writing again, with a special interview to start him off, hmmm. I guess the whole police thing went away quietly then.

Despite her thinking Venom’s dead, turns out he’s alive somehow. And he has a thing for Annie as well, aww, really not wanting to picture that threesome, even if Stan Lee tells him it’s a great thing. Excelsior. So, Venom and Eddie make a deal, Venom can only harm the bad guys if he wants to stick around, and only eat as a last resort. He heads back into the convenience store, as it’s about to conveniently robbed by the same guy from earlier. And I can’t not quote this line, it’s so stupid.

“You’ll be this armless, legless faceless thing rolling down the street like a turd in the wind”

And with that one line, you’ve made yourself impossible to take seriously, well done. Eninem’s Venom song sucks hard guys.

Mid credits scene, at San Quentin Prison, Eddie has been summoned to interview one Cletus Cassidy (Woody Harrelson), who promises that there will be Carnage. Which is Sony saying there will be carnage in the sequel. 

That was Venom and what a ride that was.

It’s dumb, it suffers from some odd direction (the continuity in that chase scene is pretty pathetic, the pass the same theatre a dozen times) and casting, in particular when it comes to the casting of Riz Ahmed, who offers no charisma to what needed to be a charismatic role. The actual plot is fairly standard and cliché but actually kinda worked as a way to introduce Venom without Spider-man. The downside is they give no genuine reason as to why some hosts work and others don’t.

Not sure what it is about Brock that changes Venom’s mind, I doubt he cares that he tries, or that he’s a complete idiot. But those are the only 2 things I know about him so, must be at least one of them

The action is more entertaining when Venom is up against humans, the big CGI fight at the end was pretty boring to watch, as is most of the sciency sh*t in this film.

What I will say is Tom Hardy did a brilliant job playing Eddie Brock and Venom, and visually displaying the effect having someone else in your head might do to you. It must’ve looked really weird on set.

Rating -55%