Guilty Pleasures #34 - Outcast

So, we start the year with my first review of a movie with an actor who might show up again a few times this year. Nicholas Cage.

Known for his comedic overacting, especially when it comes to bees, Nicholas Cage is down to do just about anything as long as he’s paid for it. Paired up with is Hayden Christensen, who I last saw back when I was reviewing the Star Wars prequels, now that was a while back. He could act well his body but it was ruined every time he opened his mouth. But, let’s give him the benefit of the doubt for now.

Released in 2015, this movie currently has a meagre 5% rotten tomatoes rating but it’s only based on the views of 21 critics, not many all things considered. But it’s hardly favoured well with audiences either with only a 22% audience rating.

How do I feel about? Let’s take a closer look.

We start with prayer. Then we cut to the 12^th Century middle east, where English flags are everywhere as they attack a stronghold somewhere. Plenty of death follows. Christensen loses his helmet but it doesn't seem to bother him, plenty of them are fighting without them. More support soldiers come to defend their territory and force the English back. Christensen wants to outflank them with Cage’s character warning that there are women and children within the grounds.

More fighting and preachy religious bullsh*t, Christensen allows Cage to leave. Some guy goes to the women and children and says they’re to be escorted out. Cage elects to stay but stands there rather than fights. Christensen has one of them in a headlock with a sword to his neck but upon seeing Cage releases him, only for another soldier to kill him. More death follows as Cage wonders the halls. Now, the English begin dragging the women to the slaughter. Well… that was pleasant

We cut to 3 years later and largely brush this scene under the rug entirely, at the Far East. Time for clichés to occur. The dying father, the would-be heir, Zhao and the jealous brother, Shing. Shing approaches with an army, the King gives the Royal Seal to Yan Lun or Lian, who is tasked with escorting Zhao to the generals at Xingyuan. Props to the movie for using actual Asian/Asian-American actors as opposed that movie which I try and repress my memories of. She promises to protect him with her life.

Shing enters the throne and we get that cliché argument of bullsh*t. Shing being threatening the guards to serve him and the threats are substantial enough that he can get them to leave. Oh, for goodness sake, let’s just replace him with Loki and be done with it, this dynamic is old hat. So Shing kills the king, and I don’t give a sh*t. Shing tells the non-witness guards that Zhao killed him and stole the Royal seal and I see no-one questions this. Scratch the Loki comparison, Loki is at least interesting.

Zhao and Lian make their escape but guards are already on their trail, fortunately that guy whose name I can’t remember is able to take several of them out, convenient. OK, so the worst portion of movie is more or less behind us now, let’s get to the less sh*t parts.

Somehow now without a horse, Lian enters a small village in white robes. As it happens, Christensen is in the Tavern, drowning his sorrows with drugs. Lian enters seeking help but they refuse as they’re being hunted by the Black Guards, speaking of Black Guards they find Zhao outside and instead of capturing him there and then, the throw him into the Tavern. So, it’s been a while since I’ve been able to do this for free but it’s so appropriate here

  

Take your pick about who that’s for. Anyway, they inform them that their father is dead and they’re accused of his murder and they want the seal and they quickly deduce that Shing did it. Christensen stands up wanting his sword back. He’d given it in payment and the tavern owner had given it to one of the guards but thanks to the opium he was taking he’s quickly beaten and they p*ss on him before ordering him killed. But it seems the p*ss did the trick because he’s suddenly able to take them out, largely non-lethally, until he gets to the guy holding his sword who he kills with violence.

Lian asks for his help but he wishes them luck and leaves with his sword. Lian runs after him as he washes himself, but he leaves by horse. I’m sure he’ll never crop up again. No wait, he’s in the next scene as he stops by the lake and gives himself another wash. I know, the smell of p*ss really does take ages to wash out. He flashes back to the events of the opening but they’re largely inconsequential.

More riders are en-route so he goes to wake Lian and Zhao, wait, where the f*ck did they come from? Cohesion please story, what happened. So, they all have horses now and they ride away so they’re out of sight. They hide in a crevice as Christensen covers their tracks. Yeah, I know his name is Jacob but I’ve not heard him referred to as anything yet, but if it bothers you, I'll refer to him by the name for the rest of the review. Anyway, he takes the gold they offered and says he was heading that way anyway.

They see smoke and decide to stop as Jacob scopes out. The black guards are burning down a village to try and draw them out. One woman is on the run from a guard. Zhao misses with his bow so Jacob takes the bow and hits his mark. The woman rescued is Xiaoli and Zhao convinces him to add her to the ranks to help their cover. They decide to head off the map to avoid guards.

After a scene of not Loki doing not Loki things, we cut to a nice quiet scene between Lian and Jacob that’s only slightly tinted by this bullsh*t feminist speech Lian makes. Not that I extremely hate feminist speeches but I feel there’s a time and a place and this isn’t it. After another Not Loki scene, Zhao asks Jacob to teach him how to shoot. And we get a flashback to how Jacob was taught as Zhao is taught the same way.

They’re heading through an area full of bandits who are no fan of the Black Guard. 2 guesses as to who the so called White Ghost who leads the bandits is. Good, it’s been too long, I want to see a crazy Nicholas Cage performance. The Bandits approach and suddenly they’re in a desert. How did that happen? They join a travelling convoy into the city, bribing their way to shelter with the gold. They head into the town, with their envoy bribing their way through a patrol. They’re offered a room in the Tavern and their host offers Jacob more, and drugs his drink.

The next morning the Black Guards are in the city in force. Jacob wakes up with his hands tied and sees the amassing guard. He frees himself and fights through the drugs or whatever. Apparently, their host had sold them out and was even willing to offer Jacob a share. He escorts Lian and Zhao (and Xiaoli shows up) to an exit and tells them to find a boat to the silver mountain. Lian replies with a most enlightening line

“I don’t even know your name”

Yeah, you and the rest of us, I’m only calling him Jacob now because that’s what it says on DVD box. So, whilst the kinds make their escape Jacob goes into a fight and I’m feeling motion sick, I know continuous shots slow the action down, just ask that movie I referenced earlier, but if you cut every 5 second it makes it impossible to see what’s going on. Jacob is captured until the guards find out the kids are heading to solver mountain after which he continues fighting, killing everyone in sight and making his escape.

Unfortunately, the Black Guard are already in pursuit of the boat. Jacob makes it to a boat and begins rowing away. The kids make it to shore and begin running; fortunately for them, the Black Guards are being taken out by a third party, the bandits, who soon have the kids surrounded. Jacob rows but he is injured and is barely staying conscious from the drugs. He ultimately passes out.

He wakes up being tended to and finds Nicholas Cage, who apparently is somewhat resentful of him given what happened. He insists that Jacob leave once he’s able and yes, Cage’s performance is f*cking hilarious, it’s a shame it took this long to get to it. Unfortunately, it’s not gonna last long either. Back to Not Loki, he orders the horses saddled, presumably he’s planning a massive assault on the bandits. 

Jacob insists on seeing his former mentor one last time. He saw the horror of dead children I presume and whilst Jacob admits to being responsible, they did not die by his sword. In fact, their mothers killed them. Such a charming addition to the scene that was already horrible.

So after some more Cage overacting we get another scene between Lian and Jacob. Is Xiaoli just a plot device or something because she hasn’t done or said anything of value since she showed up. Lian and Jacob get to suck face, another talk as the Black Guard are approaching. One of the lookouts alerts the White Ghost and they prepare to fight.

The attack begins as the bandits use fires to create a smokescreen. Arrows fly, bombs blow up but death happens in both directions. With most of the men dead, the bandits fall back to the cave. More fighting ensues but the cave and previous battles means there are fewer guards to face at once. Cage’s wife sacrifices herself because of course she does, why else would they have a speech about her earlier?

Cage orders Jacob to fall back and help Zhao as Cage proves he can be bad-ass as Gallain, meeting an entire battalion outside, taking out many of them before eventually succumbing and being killed. Goodbye Nicholas, you were entertaining while you lasted. Not Loki decides for reasons that completely escape me to face an emerging Jacob alone. And, credit to the director, I can see most of what’s going on in this fight.

A few men shoot Jacob much to not Loki’s annoyance but Lian eventually confronts him and is stabbed. Jacob uses that to spur himself to kill not Loki before passing out again. Lian is apparently going to be fine, somehow. The guards stop and pledge themselves to Zhao.

Jacob rests his sword in the stone as Zhao arrives to be crowned and this movie draws to a close.

OK, so that was Outcast

Much like a lot of films lately it’s the quieter moments that stand out to me, the moments where character is at the forefront, I’d argue character is more important that the story in this movie and the leads are all well fleshed out, aside for Shing who does nothing interesting in the entire film and Xiaoli who is barely even a presence. Christensen pulls off a great performance in my eyes, because it’s a more subtle role than having to portray someone like Anakin Skywalker

The film’s plot isn’t exactly ground-breaking, in fact there are fundamental flaws and perhaps it’s more violent than a film like this needed to be, especially with that exceptionally grim opening.

Cage has some great moments to provide his usual charm, some of his scenes provide the few laughs you’d ever get in this movie. Beyond that, most of the action is shot nicely, that final battle in particular was good. Maybe there’s the Bourne syndrome of cutting too much but for the most part it wasn’t distracting.

It’s a flawed movie, and I understand why people don’t like it. For me, I like it in spite of these flaws

Rating -25%

Images/clips used in this review are from Outcast and Ratchet and Clank and belong to their respective owners. All images in this review are subject to fair use