#1 Playstation Move Heroes

Beware - This game is rated 12 for some reason

I figured to start out this blog, I'd do a game I hated a while back. I haven't played this game in a long while, and while I have used various sources to back up my knowledge, there may be a few factual inaccuracies

Ah, the days of the classic PlayStation characters. Everyone remembers Ratchet and Clank, Jak and Daxter and Sly and Bentley. And that’s exactly what Sony was counting on when they marketed PlayStation Move Heroes, a crossover title blatantly aimed to push the PlayStation Move on people who weren’t buying it by adding their favourite characters to the mix. I fell for it, I bought it; I very much wish I hadn’t.

PlayStation Move Heroes is not an action or stealth platformer, instead PlayStation Move Heroes is a collection of mini-games designed to utilise the PlayStation move controller in as many pointless ways as possible. Whether you’re flying a disk, bowling, or trying to fight off enemies, you’re not doing anything that couldn’t have been utilised into the PS3 six-axis controller.

But I’ll cover this in more detail later. First the story. First we see Ratchet and Clank in Metropolis fighting off one of Emperor Tachyon’s Drophyd enforcers. Clank tells him to hit him in the knee (wow, suddenly Tools of Destruction got a whole lot easier) but before Ratchet can carry out this attack he and Clank dragged into a wormhole.

Cut to what’s supposed to be Haven City (it looks nothing like that from the original game) Jak and Daxter are on a zoomer being controlled by a… I have absolutely no idea what (new KG leader, maybe?) as the zoomer’s about to crash, Jak and Daxter bail (why they didn’t do that the moment it was under his control I don’t know, zoomers are very easy to steal) as they begin to fall they are frozen before being dragged into a wormhole.

Cut to Paris, I think, as we see Sly breaking into Prison to rescue Murray, he descends on a rope and attaches what I assume are bombs to the prison door. As Bentley raises Sly back up, one of the security lasers cuts the rope (they lose more intruders that way) but before Sly falls time appears to freeze before he and Bentley are dragged into a wormhole.

Heroes Unite, to bowl and throw frisbees  

Cut to Planet... Something or another. The heroes bump into each other. Jak immediately blames Ratchet for his predicament, before they both find Sly. Clank and Bentley both discover that they've been pulled through a wormhole (gee, you think?!) In come our game's antagonists, whose names aren't revealed in this section, they welcome them, claiming them all to be heroes and invite them to play a series of challenges to see who the best heroes are. (Call me a fan-boy, but Ratchet saves GALAXIES)

Revealing that they've essentially stopped time on Metropolis, Haven City and Paris (a fact that’s almost entirely glossed over until near the end) they say that once the tournament is complete, the worlds will be returned to their original states. The heroes embrace a competitive spirit, Daxter being the only person who says he doesn't trust the hosts. These suspicions are confirmed to the audience (because it wasn't entirely obvious or anything) that they’re not trustworthy when they comment “they’ll never make it.”

It’s good they tried to incorporate a story into this, when they could've gone PS All-stars battle Royale and have there be no real story at all. But just because it’s better than no story, doesn't mean it’s good. At this point it just about copies every cliché in the book. In terms of gameplay the idea of competition is non-existent. While there is a multi-player element (for those that have 2 move controllers) it’s co-operative, not competitive.

The villains, who later we find out are called Lunk and Gleeber (worst villain names EVER!) record all the action in order to take their places (how they’d be in 6 places at once I don’t know) and take the credit. Also the fans, called whibbles, are species of Planet X (because planet A B C, ah you know this joke already) were forced to destroy their planet mining crystals to power “some sort of giant weapon” (because that isn't like every super-villain plot ever) admittedly it’s later revealed to be a teleportation device, but it’s still corny.

Giving them credit, the characters are, for the most part, in character, helped by the fact that all the voice actors from the original games returned (sorry Josh Keaton, you've got nothing on Mike Erwin doing Jak.) Some of the dialogue is atrocious. “So they’re not dumb, they’re just tremendously evil” is a bad line, not helped by James Arnold Taylor’s flat delivery, not a sense of surprise, irritation or irony. (Sorry James, I think your work’s amazing, but part of my soul dies every time I hear that line)

Eventually Lunk and Gleeber are defeated, everyone goes back to their own time and place and pretty much forget this ever happened (signified well by Daxter hiding his communicator under a rock.)

I’ve talked a little about gameplay, but I’ll detail more here. It really wasn’t necessary for the Move to be involved, and as a first time user of the move, I found it difficult, especially in portions where I had to use the controller as well (if you really want to play this game, which I don’t recommend, I do recommend you buy the othrer move controller, it’s a lot easier to use with one hand) even then playing Jak with a hammer is odd.

Each of the heroes has a super-move. Jak and Daxter both can turn into their dark forms (so this takes place after The Lost Frontier, which is odd considering they were in Haven City) Ratchet has the groovitron move (which is something he doesn't receive until AFTER he left Metropolis in Tools of Destruction) Clank can summon Zoni (again, continuity, heard of it?) Sly can slow down time, Bentley has an auto-hack move which (hack into enemies? I don’t have a clue)

This would be cool, but at this time Jak wasn't supposed to be able to transform, continuity!!

Enemy types in the game are from all 3 franchises. Space Pirates and Agorians from Ratchet’s worlds (both introduced after Ratchet left Kerwan, CONTINUITY, ah forget it you know what I want to say) KG Robots from Jak's world and whatever those things are from Sly (in case you’re wondering, I haven’t played the Sly games, so I'm not an expert on them)

Aesthetically the character models are decent, especially since Sly and Jak hadn't had HD outings at this point. Kerwan looks exactly as you’d want it too look, vibrant and colourful (no flying vehicles but then time has frozen, so…) while it does have the multiple layers that Haven city had, it goes for the bright oranges over the greys that Haven City is supposed to have, also it’s a lot less compact, there aren't that many buildings in Haven City either. Paris has a bit of the feel of the Sly games from what little I’ve seen, but the problems are similar to Haven City, not crowded enough in design, and slightly odd looking colours. Planet X, I won’t deny also looks pretty damn cool. It seems the effort went into Planet X and Metropolis, less so the other 2 worlds

Haven City looks like a foundation built on rocks, rather than a city built on tarmac

I don’t really know anything about music, it wasn’t distracting, but it wasn’t breathtaking.

So, to sum up: the story is half-baked, cliché, not very memorable or epic and leads to some awful dialogue, but it has the fundamentals of the characters so it does something right. The gameplay isn't very good. These characters’ play styles don’t lend themselves to the PlayStation move, and the way they did it was with crappy mini games, which weren't all that interesting. The aesthetics are decent though I wish more time had gone into the Haven City and Paris maps.

This game gives me rage issues!

Rating: It’s failing with storytelling is my biggest issue with the game, the gameplay is also not very good, a game you can’t play for the story or the gameplay isn't worth playing or paying for, which is why I sold mine soon after playing it. But, it was nice to hear the voice actors, even if some of their delivery was sloppy, and none of the characters faced any real damage from it. The Ratchet and Clank games are still great. I’ve heard good things about the new Sly game, and Jak… well sorry Jak.

Rage Rating: 30%

Next week: Batman Arkham Origins (yes, I know it's another game, I'll do something in different for #3)

Disclaimer: Ratchet, Clank, Sly, Bentley, Jak and Daxter and their respective universes are properties of Sony Computer Entertainment, Playstation Move Heroes was created by Nihilistic and Published by Sony Computer Entertainment. All images used are subject to fair use.

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