Guilty Pleasures #6 Iron Man 3

The Iron Man franchise was the beginning of great things for Marvel as their partnership with Paramount allowed the creation of a Marvel Cinematic Universe, which eventually cumulated into the Avengers.

But Iron Man sequels themselves never quite had the popularity of the first. Iron Man 2 was criticised for particularly its lack of Iron Man himself and its ending, where Tony created an impossible to synthesise element in a matter of minutes. Still it enjoys a 73% rotten tomatoes rating and made a decent $600 million at the box office, so a 3^rd instalment was inevitable.

Also note-worthy is that this is the last movie distributed by Paramount Studios. Following Marvel Comics Acquisition by Disney, Disney themselves handled the distribution of the films that followed this.

There are loud critics for Iron Man, despite its incredible box office performance, managing $1.2 billion at the box office, and its favourable 78% rotten tomatoes. I don’t consider this movie that brilliant, it’s flawed and I’ll be spending the remainder of the review explaining it. But for all its problems, I find, like most Marvel movies, it’s fun and enjoyable. So let’s dig into Iron Man 3 and discover all that it can be.

Wow, less than a minute into the movie the suits are blowing up

We start with Iron Man suits blowing up, while Tony narrates, we’ll see why later on. But after that and the obligatory logos, we jump 1999, in Bern, Switzerland, on New Year’s Eve where Tony is drunk and seducing a woman. Iron Man narrates, telling us what we already know. A nerdy guy bumps into Tony and tries to bring up the Advanced Idea Mechanics (AIM), everyone exits the lift and agrees to meet Aldrich (the nerdy guy) on the roof in 5 minutes

 

You see the guy on the right. NEEEEERRRRRRDDDD!!!

And of course he’s too busy (and by busy I mean having sex – you know: for kids) to do it. Oh and broken tree repairs thanks to miracle drug 656b, only then to explode. Aldrich waits on the roof, can in hand… We cut to the Present day in Malibu California where Tony is busy injecting himself with something, and he’s been up for 72 hours. He activates the mark 42 armour, an armour that can assemble itself around him because of the injection things.

 

Embarrassing dads have nothing on Tony Stark

Until something shoots it off. He turns on the TV and we see a terrorist called the Mandarin tell an army to shoot some people, making a speech about America and starts blowing sh*t up. Of course we get msnbc (because MSN has a tv channel now?) with the President giving a speech about how he’s not scared thanks to the Iron Patriot, who’s War Machine with some paint. Many news stations make fun of this. Oh, and the rebrand is designed by AIM (this will not be relevant in the story)

 

Ladies and gentlemen, I've wasted your money giving this suit a new paint-job, no functional upgrades

Rhodey (War Machine) and Tony eat in a bar, where Rhodey explains it tested well with focus groups (because focus groups are always representative of the population) Tony asks about the Mandarin, and Rhodey explains 9 bombings, with no sign of any explosives at the scene. Tony suggests some ideas, and Rhodey worries that he hasn't been sleeping. 2 children come wanting Tony’s autograph, and one mentions the wormhole from the Avengers and he has a panic attack.

He gets into his suit, which he left open and outside in plain view because there’s no chance whatsoever it could be stolen like that. And it analyses him, telling him that he’s had a panic attack. Happy, the new security guy at Stark Enterprises (because Sad would be just too generic, and yes I know it’s from the comics, oh yeah and he was also Tony’s guard in the flashback) talks to Pepper Potts, now the CEO of Stark Enterprises, but is interrupted by a meeting with a much improved Aldrich Killian. 5 years of physical therapy can do a lot apparently.

 

Nice brain, pity this demo explains absolutely nothing about Extremis at all

He explains AIM’s new idea: Extremis. Pepper explains that Extremis is too weaponisable, and will not invest in the project. Pepper returns home to find a giant rabbit at the door, and Tony in his Iron Man suit. She comes down to find Tony controlling remotely. After she gets annoyed and starts to head up, Tony admits that he’s a ‘piping hot mess’ and explains that things haven’t been the same since New York, he hasn’t been able to sleep, and he’s been spending all his time working on them.

Tony has another nightmare about New York and an Iron Man suit comes to his aid. Frightening the life out of Pepper. Happy follows Aldrich to a China Town place, and knocks a briefcase out of someone’s hands, as he helps he sees him glowing. He tries to leave but the other guy bumps into him, they confront each-other about their secrets. The guy with the brief-case glows to extremes and explodes.

Happy, somehow, survives it as everyone else is killed. We get another message from the Mandarin, promising the big treat is coming. Happy is at a hospital, with Tony as a visitor. Happy has pretty much no purpose in the plot, we won’t see him again. Tony’s bombarded by the press, because why try and quiz S.H.I.E.L.D., Captain America or any other Avenger when you can interview one guy in a suit. Tony decides to be an idiot and give his home address to a terrorist.

 

I am the most famous businessman there is, and I'm giving you, the press, my address, so you can hound me for the rest of my days

Tony begins to analyse the data collected by S.H.I.E.L.D. and other places, apparently the explosion was over 3000 degrees centigrade. He finds a spot with a similar heat signature within the last 12 months in Tennessee that predates any mandarin attack. The doorbell rings and we’re introduced to the scientist from 1999, she tries to get Tony to leave, as Pepper tries to get Tony to leave, and he refuses both of them. As an argument ensues, the lady notices on the television that there’s a missile heading towards the house (because home security system of Iron Man level can’t detect a missile for some reason) the missiles blows up and to protect Pepper, Tony summons the iron man suit around her.

 

You know, if Tony were actually in his Iron Man suit when they attacked, they wouldn't have stood a chance

More helicopters arrive and prepare to fire more missiles. The house begins to collapse and Tony is stuck. Pepper has to rescue the chick as Tony finds another way around. With Pepper clear of the structure Tony calls his suit to him, and just in time as the helicopters are now shooting machine guns through the windows. Unable to get immediate flight power, and barely any weapons, he throws something at one helicopter, blowing it up, and destroys another one with an explosive, but it crashes into the house. As several Iron Man suits are blown up, Iron Man falls into the water, dragged down by the cables. Pepper, ignoring the helicopter that could shoot her, runs to the edge of the house and shouts his name. (Smart)

Tony manages to uncouple the wire but it soon crushed by the rest of the house, but he eventually gets free, using the extremis part of his suit’s arm to pull himself out. Flight is conveniently restored at this point, but of course no-one notices him take off. Tony wakes up as his power has dropped to near zero and he crashes. (These Iron Man suits are pretty cr*p considering the one from the Avengers withstood Thor) anyway, they’re now 5 miles outside Rose hill, Tennessee.

Tony drags the suit along with him, as he can’t get back in it, because he’s so low on power. He makes a phone-call to Pepper and quotes some lines from the trailer. He breaks into a workshop (our hero) where he’s confronted by… a small child. Not recognising Tony Stark, one of the most famous businessmen in the world (and wearing an arc reactor to boot), and recently assumed dead, he instead recognises the Iron Man suit.

 

Our hero: giving a small boy a dangerous weapon to use on bullies, why not?

He will serve as our sidekick for the next few minutes as Tony immediately sees that he’s being bullied at school (because no nice kid can be normal in a film EVER, it’s either asthma, hypochondria, some illness or bullied, oh his mums off doing something as his dad left him 6 years ago) he gives the kid a weapon to handle the bully (because that’s the best way to handle bullies, kill them, kill them all now) the kids’ name is Harley (wow, no idea why he’s being bullied whatsoever) and then he asks what Tony’s name is. Despite the fact that just earlier he held up a newspaper saying Tony Stark presumed dead, and said you’re officially dead!

Back at the remains of Stark Manor, Pepper is mourning over a destroyed Iron Man head, which conveniently the communicator survived, and gives Pepper the message he left for her. She drives off with scientist lady and asks what she was doing there last night. She says she thinks her boss works for the Mandarin. The boss, Aldrich Killian, who immediately is annoyed there’s no body.

So, no mystery about it, he’s a villain. (And all because Tony missed a meeting) the Mandarin arrives and prepares his next speech. Harley provides Tony with the materials he desires, including a Dora the explorer watch. I’ve got to admit, I’d like to see the venn-diagram of people who like Iron man, and People who like Dora the explorer, I don’t think there’ll be much intersection.

Harley asks about New York, and Tony says he won’t talk about it. He looks at a shrine for the guys who supposedly died in a suicide bombing in the area. Only 5 shadows, considered a sign of only 5 going heaven. Harley brings up New York again, and Tony suffers another panic attack. Tony rubs some snow in his face to calm himself down. He enters a bar, passing someone who was clearly on extremis. He finds the mother of the supposed bomber, who hands Tony a file containing information on that, Tony believes it proves that this was no suicide bombing. He was being used. Tony is confronted by two extremis soldiers: he kills one in an explosion, and the other one is defeated by the anti-bully gun Tony gave to Harley, followed by a repulsor blast from tiny part of Iron Man’s hand.

Probably not the hottest babe Tony's ever kissed

We are interrupted by another message from the Mandarin, and for some reason everyone’s confused about it despite the fact that this is at least the third time this has happened! On a plane, the President receives the broadcast and the mandarin has a finance guy from the Roxxon Oil cooperation. If he doesn’t get a call from the president in 30 seconds he will kill him. The President makes the call, and the Mandarin kills him anyway (is anyone supposed to be surprised?)

I am a man with a gun, in a cheaply built set, fear me

They track the broadcast, and send the Iron Patriot to investigate. Meanwhile Tony is looking through the files he’d found whilst driving the car he’d stolen from the second extremis soldier (our hero he’s a dangerous driver and he steals cars) Iron Patriot infiltrates a factory in Pakistan, only to find factory workers. Tony calls him and requests his login because he’s certain AIM is involved because of the paperwork he pulled out of his ass.

Cut to a load of ladies in bikinis. Because fan service. Meanwhile Tony infiltrates TV truck. Oh and there’s your Stan Lee cameo, as a judge. We get introduced to Gary, who operates the truck, and is a creepy fan boy of Stark. Exceptionally creepy. Thanks to some increased WiFi connection thanks to Gary, Tony hacks into Aim and discovers interviews with the people who were turned into living bombs. Extremis is able to regrow limbs, but can cause people to explode.

At a hotel, the scientist and Pepper talk (what even is her name, I can’t remember) anyway, Pepper doesn't judge her for working for a think-tank built on military contracts when Stark Industries was very similar. Aldrich breaks in, and the random lady explains that they need Stark to stabilise extremis, and now he has the motivation, they've kidnapped Pepper.

Iron Patriot discovers yet another dead end on his search for the Mandarin. The factory workers leave, shaking his hand, but one of them was heated with extremis and knocks him down. Tony manages to track it down to Miami. When Harley is concerned about the suit charging it triggers one of Tony’s panic attacks and he’s forced to pull over. Harley suggests that he build other devices to help him, and he does: taser gloves, bauball bombs and other stuff

 

Where'd he learn to be a security guard, the Stormtrooper Academy?

In Miami, Florida, he sees a mansion and climbs over the wall. He uses his new arsenal to take out the guards and enters the mansion. He finds the Mandarin.  His name’s Trevor and he’s an actor. Here’s where most Iron Man fans are incredibly irritated. The Mandarin is one of Iron Man’s arch nemeses, but the writer of this script thought the character was racist, so wrote him to be an actor (in a later short, the Mandarin is revealed to be real and furious at Trevor, but that’s not from here, and it’s not released until sometime after, most likely in response to this criticism) I’m not a massive Marvel Comics reader. I’m more a DC Fan and I tend to not voyage into Marvel due to budget. So this issue means very little to me, although I do understand why people are angry over this.

Trevor reveals that he becomes the face of the Mandarin, in exchange for lots of drugs, and that Killian was his boss. Unfortunately he’s confronted by an Extremis man who knocks him out. At mansion two Tony is confronted by science lady. Who reveals he made a formula to help extremis while he was drunk at the party, and he doesn’t remember it. He asks her to free him, but refuses, and Aldrich enters the scene. He reveals that in the course of however many years he’s gone from nerdy to psychotic, then reveals that he’s dosed Pepper with extremis.

 

Oh joy, this is the bit where the bad guy explains his entire plan, isn't it?

He threatens Tony up close and the scientist lady pulls a needle at herself, saying she’d kill herself if he doesn't let Tony go. The dosage would kill her, Tony and Aldrich in a fireball. Aldrich saves time by killing her himself (well, at least I don’t have to bother trying to remember her name now. Goodbye, your purpose in this story will not be forgotten…. Who was she again?) Anyway, Aldrich leaves and sees his men cutting open War Machine. Aldrich saves time by using his heat powers to pry open the suit himself.

Tony’s in the charge of lackeys, so we all know what’s gonna happen next, but there is some delay, quite considerable. Rhodey comes out of the Iron Patriot and attacks but is soon knocked out. After more delay Tony’s Iron Man hand comes and he escapes, the rest of the suit follows sometime after in the mean-time how is that bit of the suit being powered? As the bad guys are defeated the rest of the suit arrives, as the bad guys escape on helicopter, but his flight power’s offline. Iron Patriot, Rhodey not inside takes off. Rhodey and Tony confront Trevor, who tells them what he knows of the plan.

Since the plan involves the Vice-President in some fashion Tony calls him, and warns them about the Iron Patriot, the Vice-President, already involved in the plan (daughter in a wheelchair, missing a leg) does not act on this information. The President arrives and boards a plane with the Iron Patriot. (Oh the irony.) Iron Patriot uses his extremis to lock employees and non-military passengers in the back of the plane, then kills the President’s guards.

2 people who should be wondering why the Iron Patriot isn't doing his mandate of protecting the president

Iron Man arrives, only to find the President is not here. The extremis armed guy remotely activates an explosive which blows up the back half of the plane. Iron Man kills the guy with a uni-beam, then proceeds the rescue the people from the plane, all 13 of them; 1 of them barely 100ft from the ground. He drops them into the water, and is hit by a truck. The suit falls apart but Tony’s not in it, controlling it remotely from the boat

 

Laws of Physics don't seem to apply when Iron Man is involved

Tony activates the house party protocol. Killian confronts Pepper once again, revealing that she’s not just here as a hostage. Iron Patriot arrives, the President inside. He reveals he’ll kill the President later as part of the Mandarin’s plot. Tony and Rhodey covertly enter the shipping yard. They sneak around, barely avoiding the hundreds of guards, but then they’re caught and start firing back. As they are surrounded by extremis armed people a platoon of iron men suits arrive, and they begin taking out all extremis armed people with their varying abilities. Lots of sh*t explodes. Tony gets in a suit, but refuses to give Rhodey one as they’re only coded to him (yet earlier we clearly saw him put one on Pepper, so...)

 

Gee, how am I gonna get out? It's not as if I'm in a heavily weaponised battle-suit or anything

Iron Man finds Pepper but she’s stuck, Aldrich burns through the suit. He cuts off Aldrich’s arm, but it burns through the floor, and Pepper falls to a lower deck. Rhodey uses his military skill to get close to the President but bullets won’t work on the extremis soldiers, apparently falling off a crate will though. He frees the president by doing something amazing, he USES THE F*CKING SUIT!! And of course with Rhodey back inside it operates just fine. Tony reaches out for Pepper, but the debris shifts and she falls into the fire.

Aldrich comes out for revenge as finally a suit comes for Tony, but it doesn’t matter as Aldrich makes short work of it, he enters another suit, and while it fairs better, it eventually also falls as Aldrich slices it in hand. The mark 42 arrives, but is cut into bits before it can assemble around her. He eventually traps Aldrich in an iron man suit and blows it up, surviving by getting into another suit. Aldrich somehow survives all that, burnt beyond belief, and now saying that he is the Mandarin, and his ass whooped by Pepper who survived the fall, somehow. She blows him up (somehow more than the destruct sequence on the suit)

To dedicate his time to Pepper he destroys all his remaining Iron Man suits, just so we can get some more explosions (Michael Bay would be so proud) the Vice-President is arrested, as is Trevor, who’s also very famous. Pepper is cured, and Tony manages to remove the shrapnel out of his heart. Yay… Happy begins to recover (oh, so great that the character that has little purpose in the story came out so well) Harley gets home from school to discover his place had had a Stark Industries upgrade. Tony goes to the end of his destroyed house and throws his old arc reactor into the sea.

 

Hey Bruce, see you in Avengers 2

Tony continues to narrate, and we get the end credits, but being a Marvel movie, it’s not the end. We get an end-credits scene showing it was Bruce Banner who he’d been talking to in the narration, because the one thing you do when you’re over your problems is discuss them. It is nice to see Bruce Banner again though, and it’s funny that he didn’t listen at all.

So, rounding up. Iron Man 3 is not perfect, it suffers from a problem I’m going to call phase 2 syndrome, as every film in phase 2 suffers this problem. Specifically under-developed villains. Aldrich is probably the most developed of any of the phase 2 villains, but it still doesn’t explain how he went from suicidal to psychotic over the course of a few years. Or why he wants to rule America

 

Nice reference to the 10 Macluan rings the Mandarin usually seeks

There’s also a surprising lack of Iron Man in it. It doesn't matter so much with this one, as you feel Iron Man’s presence throughout. It also suffers from what I’m calling Michael Bay syndrome. As in way too many explosions, particularly in the third act. Also for all his power Aldrich is beaten a bit easily. He survives a suit which he’s inside exploding but doesn't survive an explosion vaguely near him?

This story really needn’t have been set around Christmas. Aside from the odd snow and Christmas light scenes, Christmas is barely mentioned and it could easily be set any time in winter. I’m not a big fan of the fan-service bikini top scene, it’s brief, but there are only 3 types of women in this story. Dead, Pepper Potts or in bikinis. Just a minor complaint, but…

 

1st, 2nd and 3rd degree burns, yeah... he's dead

That said, the production design was there, the story is solid(ish), it’s nice and dramatic, even without much Iron Man in the script there’s plenty of action. And the tone is exactly what I’d like in a Marvel movie. It’s dark but doesn’t shy from the light-hearted moments. In Man of Steel the light-hearted moments feel forced, but with Iron Man 3 not so much, and it’s much more enjoyable for it.

The parts are all well-acted. As per usual Robert Downey Jr kills it as Iron Man, with Gwyneth Paltrow doing a great job as Pepper Potts. Ben Kingsley also does a fantastic Trevor/Mandarin.

Rage Rating -80%

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Images used in this review are from Iron Man 3 and belong to their respective owners. All images in this review are subject to fair use.