#20 - Superboy #0

We’re in anniversary month (no this one doesn’t have a picture) the month the marks a full year since the beginning of my reviews. And who would’ve thought that after a year, I’d have done nearly 200 review entries for the site?

So, it’s time to look back at a past project. Zero moth and cr*ppy Scott Lobdell? Wait, this one was written by Tom Defalco. Former editor in chief of Marvel comics? Writer of some decent Nightwing tie-ins and co-writer of the very good Nightwing #0. Wait, this is when he was still adapting Lobdell’s stories, wasn’t it? Never mind. He would be writing his own scripts in future instalments of the book but of course it wouldn’t be far into that where he’d have to cross over with another Lobdell story, H'el on Earth. (I’ve heard mixed responses about that one, but since Lobdell was handling the Superman titles and this was post Teen Titans #0, I never read it, nor do I plan on doing so)

The problem with zero month and a comic series like this is that they’ve already done his origin, his origin for the new 52 was outlined in the early issues of the title. So what do you do with an issue like this? Find a way to make it needlessly complicated of course.

Before we start, by tradition I should explain Superboy’s original origin. When Superman was thought dead at the hands of Doomsday, there were several attempts to fill the void left in his wake. One of which was by an organisation named CADMUS to create a superman clone. To avoid cellular degeneration like the Superman clone that became Bizarro, human DNA was used to stabilise the kryptonian cells. Superboy was born. He did not have many of Superman’s powers (initially, he’d develop them all over time) but had a skill Superman did not have, tactile telekinesis, a skill he’d initially to emulate some of the missing powers (like flight)

We later find out during Geoff John’s Titans run that he was a sleeper agent, with human DNA of Lex Luthor. A trigger phrase activates his crazy mode and he begins attacking the team. They manage to save him, but he quits, wanting some quiet time. In Infinite Crisis he ends up sacrificing his life to stop Superboy Prime's Reality Machine

But his story isn’t over, I briefly covered this in my Felicia D Henderson Titans review (it still sucks) Superboy was placed in the same healing chamber Superman was placed in for his revival. Because of his extensive injuries it took longer to revive him, 1000 years in fact. They revive him in the 31^st century to help battle Superboy Prime, who they eventually prevail over. He later goes on to have a short run in Adventure Comics which is great and an excellent solo title before the reboot.

But 2 decades of continuity were chucked out the window for the DC relaunch.

So, any background required for this one: Superboy had an encounter with Supergirl where when he revealed he was a clone she punches him yelling “Kon-El” Superboy’s “Kryptonian Name” she later explains that Kryptonians have had several disasters with cloning that they all became mindless killing machines. Also there was a crossover story called the culling, just watch Linkara’s videos on, I can’t be bothered to explain that confusing awful mess of a crossover

So, with that all out of the way, let’s dig into this zero-issue and see the H’el this issue can Harvest

I am wearing white armour with a weird symbol painted on it, fear me!

We open with a Kryptonian clone commanding his forces to attack the other Kryptonians (one of whom is wearing the Supergirl outfit, go figure.) His name is Kon, which translated means abomination (because everything has to be depressing in comics these days) he rallies his troops saying “Death! Death to all Kryptonians” according to the narration, from Harvest, Kon reduced gardens to desert, cities to rubble and slaughtered the innocent in their thousands. However the Kryptonians were better trained and armed and eventually their superior fire-power turned the tides.

Kon and his clones made one last-ditch effort to seize power, they tried to capture towers that controlled the planet’s climate (Krypton has those now apparently). One of the scientists warns that it could kill them all but Kon doesn’t care, shattering the power orb that feeds the machine, I think (it’s not explained what it is)

We cut to N.O.W.H.E.R.E. headquarters before the events of Superboy #1. Omen asks Harvest where he acquired that knowledge and Omen brushes off the question explaining that came across some historical documents (because those would’ve totally survived Krypton’s destruction) they look over a clone, which Harvest instructed the scientists to call Superboy for reasons that erm… that erm… Yeah, I don’t really understand why at all.

Ah Harvest, what an awful waste of a great villain design

He is dormant at the moment and says he wants to stimulate his brain with a serious of electric shock. Caitlin Fairchild, a supporting character from the Superboy series warns it may cause brain damage in the long term. They give him a shock but it accomplishes nothing and the Doctor wishes to terminate the projects (these are scenes that closely resemble events from Superboy #1, this will continue, in fact most of Superboy’s parts are lifted from #1)

Harvest says

“I suppose you are wondering why I bothered creating a Kryptonian clone after they caused such chaos on their own world” The next section doesn’t really answer that question. In fact it’s just more history on Kryptonian cloning. Because the gravity on Krypton is considerably stronger than on Earth (hence Superman’s ability to fly) taking off into space was problematic, often pilots would be crushed during take-off. The space program created clones to test ways of solving this problem. Eventually leading them to creation of suits that would protect them

Clones were then used for medical experiments and they later became used by industry as miners and construction workers. They were then mass-produced for the domestic market. So let me get this straight. A clone is a being and a life-form and throughout their lives they’ve been guinea-pigs and slave labour. That is appalling. But yeah, for whatever reason the clones developed impulse control problems, leading to them revolting against their masters.

What started as a few scattered incidents multiplied into numerous atrocities, the Clones were giving vent to blood lust. Kon, a particularly brutal clone managed to unite them as a force that ravaged Krypton for generations. Yeah, that totally explains why you created him… The Doctor attempts to terminate Superboy but like in Superboy #1 his defences are trigged and entire room blows up, the Doctor is killed in the process.

Caitlin Fairchild jumps on him and knocks him down, using words to calm him down, whilst Harvest claims she has a role in his masterplan, in that she’ll earn Superboy’s trust before ultimately betraying him (which sort of does happen in the comic.) Harvest continues his story about Kon, noting a parallel between Caitlin’s relationship with Superboy and Kon’s fate.

Ah, Omen, a character that's supposed to be a hero!

Fearing the worst after the attack on the weather tower, Kryptonians launched a massive attack, killing any clone in their path. A Kryptonian agent managed to infiltrate Kon’s inner circle and opened the gates to the invading Kryptonians. Kon was believed to have died in the battle, but his body was never found.

Despite the victory, damage was already done. The changes made to the climate from the weather tower caused a number of natural disasters including Earthquakes (how? Earthquakes are caused by movement of tectonic plates, they have nothing to do with climate) and floods. The rebuilding from which took decades. During which time supposedly a doomsday cult formed that believed Krypton was doomed and found ways to ensure there was no way out, it looked like Kon might be involved in that sect.

We cut to next week, which I only know because Harvest asked

“Do you recall the doomsday sect I mentioned a few weeks ago” for us the it was on the last page, a little cue please. Apparently another one has formed here. I have no idea what that means. Anyway, we see clips from issue 1 of Fairchild running a virtual reality program in Superboy’s head, and is aggravated when he continually walks past a burning building without helping anyone.

His lack of empathy may be seen as a defect by Caitlin, but Harvest considers it his greatest asset. And reveals that whilst he’s dreaming through the scenario, he’s running a subroutine directly into Superboy’s brain showing pictures of him leading the clone army and fighting off Superman to aid his combat training. Superman beats him up easily, telling him that he’s a parody of life and deserves to die. Harvest reveals that this is only of the subroutines and the others are far worse. It’s the psychosis in clones that he seeks with Superboy’s DNA. The clones were willing to burn down their world.

Oh yeah, Superboy's in this story. I almost forgot

Harvest reveals that he will remake the planet with Superboy’s help, and while he has made allies against him, he’ll make enemies of all of them, and every action he makes will play right into his hands.

THIS COMIC GIVES ME RAGE ISSUES

It’s without a doubt the best of the 3 zero-issues I’ve read, but the problems with this story are more overall than with any particular plot point. I’m going to say right now, I hate this revamped version of Superboy’s origin. I hated it in Superboy #1 and it really hasn’t developed at all.

The biggest problem with Superboy #0 is simple: SUPERBOY BARELY FEATURES IN IT! In fact, the majority of Superboy’s appearances in the book are lifted directly out of a previous issue. He has no dialogue or internal monologue, the entire story is done from harvest’s perspective. BUT HARVEST IS NOT THE TITULAR CHARACTER OF THE BOOK! Superboy has 3 lines of dialogue in his own story, 2 of which are lifted from Superboy #1, the other lifted from a previous page of the same damn book.

It doesn’t really offer us anything new either. The whole history of Kon doesn’t really relate too much to anything happening in the now. It’s not a good story for the Kryptonians any more than the clones as they were willing to exploit the clones by making them lab-rats and slaves

 

Next month: wait? You've read this far? I feel for you

We really have no idea how Harvest knows all this? My knowledge of his origin is that he’s an a**hole from the future. Where in that can you come across lost documents related to a particularly dark point in Krypton’s history that most I imagine would rather forget about? Speaking of which, I found out that in a later issue it’s revealed that Harvest created Superboy to supply genetic material to help Jon Lane Kent, Harvest’s partner in clearing up meta-humans (yes, I do see the Irony in him using meta-humans to combat meta-humans)

And for that matter, if the true purpose of creating Superboy was for his genetic material, why did he want him sentient? Why do they want the psychosis? What is the entire point? Why was he put in the culling? Why should I even care?

Yeah… The over-abundance of narrative captions that has plagued the series continues here. I’m not sure if it continues past this point, this issue made me lose all interest in the title, and despite some interesting revelations in later issues. This is the last Superboy comic I have ever bought.

Rage rating 30%

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Images used in this review are from Superboy #0 and belong to their respective owners. All images in this review are subject to fair use.