#62 - Antboy 3 (Rage Issues 4th Anniversary)

It’s the Rage Issues 4^th Anniversary!

So, this was an interesting year. I’m pursuing my career as a tutor, I actually did rage reviews of more sh*t than last year, I let Guilty Pleasures fall by the waist-side for half a year and only done 4 over the entire year anyway. There are some coming soon, in July, so you can look forward for that. I’ve started reviewing Netflix again… which means I’ve had to rewatch Iron Fist, which has been fun…

So, it’s time to bring a franchise near and dear to my heart to a close. And by near and dear to my heart, I mean let’s finish this trilogy before I lose any more brain cells: Antboy 3.

Want a quick recap of Antboy 1 and 2. I’ll try…

Pelle, Ant bite, acidic piss, spider-man, “girls ruin everything,” superhero reference, Flea, vengeance, stupid, superhero reference, more stupid, love triangle, superhero reference, pathetic motivation, generic twins, superhero reference, flea’s house, prison visit, vengeance, superhero reference, no motivation, turnaround and superhero reference.

OK, now you’re up to speed let’s dig into this sh*t one last time. (Though seriously, if you want my views on the first 2, link and link)

We open with another comic style intro that rips off Spider-man 2 in giving a bit of a recap of previous events, kinda, sorta, it’s a bit short. The title card crumbles and falls to dust, no doubt a metaphor of the sh*t to come.

We open in Pelle’s bedroom, which has had quite an extension from what I remember from the last one, we get a good shot of his Antboy merchandise that he has now, as well as the fact he still keeps his still half-broken teddy bear in plain view for all to see. You were pushing it in the last movie, now that’s just laughable. Oh and don’t forget Pelle has parents, they forgot about this in the last movie and in this one, they may as well have, they appear in this one scene and that’s it.

Oh, joy, the narration is also back, it’s like the joyful narration in Spider-man 3 honestly, with a ‘foreboding’ warning that anything can happen. But f*ck that, time to get creepy with Ida again. In the movie’s defence, though, they do play it for laughs, as Pelle falls into the flowers after an incident involving a dog and Ida opening the wrong window. He could’ve just gone through the door, it’s not like he’s unwelcome.

He and Ida go to the park, and have ice cream, Pelle’s is neon green. NOW IT’S RADIOACTIVE, THAT CAN’T BE GOOD. Anyway, he gives his to a kid who dropped one so he can die of radiation poisoning instead. Ida’s is a strawberry and rhubarb kiss… what the f*ck is that flavour? Yes, I’m so bored at this point I’m complaining about ice cream flavours. So the pair of them have applied for a boarding school, Ida’s got in and Pelle’s unsure, but don’t worry about that, Pelle will get his letter off-screen and we'll treat it like he got in for the rest of the movie.

He gets a call from Willhelm, and his phone clearly calls him Willhelm, but for the entire movie they call him William. One of the many issues with dubbing that this movie particularly suffers from, I’ll continue to call him Willhelm for the duration of this review because that's his f*cking name.

Anyway, they haven’t told him about this because… dramatically inconvenient. We cut to Willhelm’s house, he gives Antboy a watch which has a crime alert function. Also, Willhelm’s voice is a bit odd, I think puberty may have hit him hard.

So, the news about Pelle leaving comes out and it hits Willhelm hard. He makes an obvious lie about being accepted at Xavier’s Academy. You have been around him for 3 years, you should be able to recognise that reference, it's not like it's a minor thing, it's the freaking X-men, they've had movies! A crime alert about a robbery in progress is given. A bunch of people in monkey masks… Yes I’m serious. Stop laughing! STOP LAUGHING! Why are they wearing monkey masks, you ask? Well, it's specifically so Antboy can make a joke about them 'monkeying around.'

So, he stands and talks, and stands and talks, and does some more standing, and... some more talking and... ENGAGE THEM ALREADY! A new hero starts quietly taking out the damn dirty apes (see, I can make lame monkey jokes too.) He leaves on his rocket-powered skateboard, leaving behind a scent bomb with the scent of sweat and citrus because he wants to keep Antboy off his trail because of erm… because of erm… It’s Willhelm, it’s blatantly obvious that it’s him because he’s only other male character this movie remembers exists.

Despite him not being seen by anyone other than Pelle, he’s given credit for taking down the robbers and news spreads fast about him. So, it’s time for the Flea’s parole hearing, he’s been imprisoned for 2 years, Antboy’s been operational for 3, did the trial take a long time or was the first Antboy as long as it felt. Anyway, after the massive sentence of 2 years, he claims to be rehabilitated, the events of Antboy 2 to the contrary, but most of the movie ignores that Antboy 2 even happened.

Yeah, I have to wonder whether the people behind this were really satisfied with Antboy 2, there’s no mention of the Terror Twins outside of them being bullies in the first movie, Red Fury’s role is minimal as she’s off in Germany for most of it, Christian is gone, much to my eternal relief and… That’s all that really happened in Antboy 2. Anyway, despite hearing no testimonials from anyone else, he’s granted parole and released.

Outside he’s met with car with an open door, he looks inside and is taken to Exo-Farm, now Ida’s father’s been removed and replaced with Mrs Obvious McCorporateEvil. She shows Dr Gamelkra (the Flea, yeah it’s not quite right, but close enough) their basement pretending to be a research facility, and that she’s working on a strength enhancing exo-suit, which goes haywire when her phone rings. She believes the tech can be used to rehabilitate disabled people, and she wants the Hercules formula, the perfected version of what gave both Antboy and the Flea their powers, to “save the world” Gamelkra initially refuses and leaves.

OK, so this movie doesn’t have as many comic book references, in fact they all seem to be combined into the next scene, the unveiling of the Antboy statue. In honesty, it kinda works, a little. Ok not really, but still it feels less forced. The bunch of kids are discussing the “unnamed Hero” with one claiming he’s better armed than Deadpool and Cable (Deadpool 2’s coming out, I want to see that) the girl replies that he’s read too many Rob Liefeld comics

1. Are you so much a comic book nerd, that you know Liefeld created Deadpool and Cable? 

2. Deadpool and Cable are 2 of Liefeld’s many thousands of characters (most of whom blend together into a mush)

3. A lot of traits of Deadpool and Cable were created very much after Liefeld, just sayin'

She thinks the unnamed hero is a cross between Katana and Elektra. Go see my Daredevil season 2 or Suicide Squad reviews. I did a skit for the latter of those. The other guy think he’s like Etrigan the demon because… I got nothing for that one, I didn’t read Demon Knights and he’s in all of 4 episodes in the DCAU. Pelle decides to get involved for no real reason. He’s the only one who’s seen the unnamed hero up close, he could really be compromising himself here.

Mrs Obvious McCorporateEvil unveils the statue and it looks like a cartoon mascot, much to Pelle’s irritation and everyone else’s laughter. I’m not sure what point this serves other than fuelling Pelle’s jealousy issues, which are really kinda pathetic.

The next day, Pelle calls Willhelm to speak trailer to him. They meet up, and are heading to a comic store, discussing Antboy business in broad daylight in front of witnesses. Willhelm is selling a rare comic called Captain Combat. I guess he needs the money for the repayments of the third re-mortgage on the house they’ve taken to pay for his activities, anyway the owner of the comic shop sounds very off, not right at all. How Willhelm got this comic in the first place is up for debate.

So Pelle goes to investigate the scent, time for more creepy sniffing. Again, it’s kinda played for laughs but it does get weird when he’s sniffing bras in a girl’s locker room. Yes, he actually does that. I guess word took a while to get out because only now is it revealed to the press about The Flea’s release, it sparks a protest so big, all of 3 policemen are summoned to hold them back. Among them is a vapid airhead with what I think is supposed to be a social media joke; but delivered so badly it misses the mark.

Gamelkra is pelted by salad because why not, Antboy confronts him but since he hasn’t done anything wrong, it’s just a staring contest and is Gamelkra’s face slightly yellow? That looks weird. We return back to the basement pretending to be a lab, Gamelkra accepts the offer of Mrs Obvious McCorporate Evil, because...

All that’s happened means Pelle doesn’t sleep easy. This pads out the run-time, and gives us a reminder of things that have just happened, in case you just woke up from the coma the last 2 movies put you in. There’s a pointless scene with the Red Fury stopping a car robbery in the middle of no-where, I think they just wanted to remind us she still exists. Pelle re-watches some Halloween antics with him and Willhelm, unfortunately they forget to pitch shift the voices so they sound the same despite being years younger.

Also, apparently a lot of time’s passed, as he and Ida are preparing buy lists for going to boarding school on Monday. It was the beginning of summer in the first minutes, going by UK standards, that’s 6 whole weeks gone by. There’s some news footage about people being disgruntled by the statue because why the hell not? Pelle gets a notice on his wrist com that the Antboy statue is being defaced, don’t know how that alert was filed when police are 15 minutes away and no-one else seems to care.

Including Antboy really who just kind of tells the guy to leave and he does so, an alert is set off at exo-farm. Antboy arrives and the finds the unnamed hero escaping with Gamelkra, leaving behind a camera. They have a battle of words, before they escape. Antboy speaks to Mrs Obvious McCorporateEvil and finds Gamelkra has stolen the Hercules serum.

Antboy confronts Gamelkra at his home, he tells Antboy that he found Mrs Obvious McCorporateEvil revealing to her father on a massive screen telling him that she plans to sell on the serum for military use/whoever pays for it use. This annoys Gamelkra enough to steal the vial. The Unnamed Hero had been investigating Exo-Farm and helped his escape. He tells Antboy that his house has many secrets and he should be able to be undetected from Exo-Farm’s forces. It's a house, not a labyrinth, it can't have that many secrets, we saw it pretty extensively in the last 2 movies

Pelle watches the footage from the camera which corroborates Gamelkra’s story, but he calls Willhelm and says he still doesn’t trust Gamelkra or the Unnamed Hero, Willhelm drops more hints and this is getting annoying, just f*cking tell him already, get over your stupid jealousy issues. Willhelm reveals his lie here, the one about the Xavier Academy, not that Pelle should’ve fallen for it for a second anyway. Isn't Willhelm supposed to be smart, why isn't he getting into a boarding school anyway?

Exofarm raid the Flea’s house in a way that isn’t at all suspicious. They find nothing which makes Mrs Obvious McCorporateEvil... I need a shorter name, I’ll just call her Mrs Evil. Mrs Evil throws a glass, then gets in her exo-suit. She attacks the park, throwing a car into a building before committing the ultimate evil act of popping a children’s balloon. Both Antboy and the Unnamed Hero arrive to stop her. 

They argue so Mrs Evil throws a statue at Pelle, pinning him down, Unnamed Hero checks on him, calling him Pelle in the process, before taking her on himself and losing badly, getting his kneecap crushed. She leaves because of reasons and the Unnamed Hero takes off his masks to reveal *gasp* it was Willhelm all along!

Willhelm is taken to the school, which is doubling as the dimly lit hospital over the summer and time for some explanation. So Willhelm had to run away to get some bullies off a kid, he then had a psychotic episode and saw Captain Comet talk to him, encouraging him to beef up, so he did, and he created his suit in the school lab.

I have questions: Why did you keep this from Pelle? Why didn’t Pelle notice you getting stronger? Why hide your scent? Why choose that outfit? Why a skateboard with a rocket underneath it? How did you get free time in the lab unsupervised? How did you get free time in the gym unsupervised? Why were you taunting and mocking Antboy? And seriously, why were you keeping this a secret?

  

Pelle names him Side Kick, which seems less like a cool name and more an attempt to put him in his place. Willhelm tells Pelle to leave, she’s too strong for him.

So, Mrs Evil talks to her father again, he’s concerned and is about to take over but she deflects this then goes on a monologue about her evil plan to combine the suit with the Hercules serum and, you guessed it, take over the world

She even gets an evil laugh in there, so cheesy. After looking at the leaflet for the boarding school, and hearing audio clips from the episode in case it’s taken you this long to get out of that coma, Pelle decides he needs to stop her and tells Ida he’ll catch up as they’re about to leave. She says she’ll wait for him.

Gamelkra exits his house, in a coat that reminds me of Colin Baker’s in Doctor Who, exo-farm manages to capture him, but it’s a trap set by Antboy and Gamelkra, who have teamed up. Antboy shows up at Exofarm, claiming to have captured Gamelkra. Meanwhile Willhelm has another psychotic episode with Captain Comet telling him to find a way to fight on. He gets out of his bed but is quickly injured again.

Pelle is let into the basement pretending to be a research lab and reveals it’s not Gamelkra he’s captured but the head of security. Antboy takes down the guards so easily that the head of security knocks himself out by running into a wall. Mrs Evil puts on the exo-suit again and attacks, Pelle runs into a slow closing elevator rather than up the stairs for some reason. Gamelkra meanwhile heads to Willhelm’s hospital room and tells Willhelm he’s going to inject him with the Hercules serum, which will cure his leg and grant him strength. He’s taken by the Exofarm van to Exofarm as he struggles to change in the back.

The lift takes them to the roof where Antboy is busted out of the elevator. Antboy looks to be done for but Willhelm leaps to the top of the tall building in a single bound and provides some back up, even keeping the name ‘Side Kick’ for some godforsaken reason. They team up but she’s still too powerful, wait, isn’t that suit still pervious to mobile signals, why isn’t the ant-com effecting it? It operates under the same exact principle. Anyway, Antboy manages to sneak up behind and damage the suit, which somehow gives them control over it.

So, Mrs Evil is arrested, and Antboy tells the press about Gamelkra having helped, which Gamelkra witnesses from the shadows. He, Pelle, Willhelm and the returned Red Fury are summoned to his house, he thanks Pelle for standing up for him in the end, it turns out that Ida’s father is back in charge of Exofarm and is looking to rehire Gamelkra again for some reason. Anyway, he shows them a little project he built, a new secret headquarters for them, so they can come and go as they like. Also, his Flea costume is there because…

Pelle heads off to boarding school with Ida, confident his city is in safe hands

That was Antboy 3. Is it good, no. It’s got logical problems, some of the characters make unlikable choices with ill thought out reasons, the villain’s motivations are unclear and stupid, and its not exactly subtle. Oh and the dubbing is bad, really bad, the voices don’t match the people they’re dubbing and it’s still not great with the lip syncing. I also kinda wish Red Fury had a bigger role, since I like the idea of the team dynamic

That said… It’s by far the best of the 3 movies. It provides some more meaty stakes for Pelle to deal with, cliché as the villain was, at least she had some ambition, something that was incredibly lacking when it came to the last movie. In fact, all of the things I really hated were expunged here, the super-hero references are far less common, confined mostly to one scene and a couple scattered around the place. All the annoying characters are gone and there’s a sense of character growth among the cast.

Pelle moving on makes a good deal of sense, I’ve stated previously he doesn’t really have a motivation to keep going, even a sub-par one like Willhelm’s. Whilst he’s not retiring, I do understand him heading to boarding school to continue his education in… something, it’s never made clear what he wants to study; if he even has a choice. I guess his arc in this is learning to accept help, it's handled OK, but I feel it would've been better if Willhelm had just been honest from him at the start. 

Willhelm becoming a superhero makes a deal of sense, he’s always been obsessed with them, and as I’ve said previously he has more money than God. It’s mentioned that he has parents in this one, they’ve never shown up in all 3 movies so… His origin is corny and makes no real sense, especially with his actions but I like at least that he is growing beyond the point of just being tech support.

Ida has nothing to do in this story other than be the one concerned about Boarding School. I think it would’ve been nice to see her be more involved in Antboy’s world since she was too busy in her stupid as f*ck subplot in the last movie to be so.

The Flea’s redemption was ok… I still think 2 years in prison isn’t really long enough to be considered for release, but letting that slide, he certainly seems to be making an effort to change, maybe too much of an effort. It rarely seems like his evil Flea side is coming through, but then maybe I’m expecting too much with this.

It’s a Rage Review in name only, this is the best Antboy movie and a reasonable kiddie superhero flick, pity we had 2 terrible movies to get here. Bet you weren’t expecting that going in

Rage Rating 0%