Doctor Who Series 9 Episodes 5-6 review - The Girl Who Died/The Woman Who Lived

Make ripples, but never tidal waves? You were the man who caused the 100 years of hell!

So, in today’s episode, the Doctor and Clara land in nondescript Viking territory #324 where they must help a band of non-fighting Vikings against alien soldiers who seek to use their testorone for… reasons.

Yeah, this episode is probably the worst episode to date, but it does have its good moments. Clara was handled well in this episode, posing as the mediator between the Vikings and the Doctor whilst more and more we’re seeing how similar they’re becoming (you especially see it when Clara tries to make peace with the thugs through trickery, very Doctor-ish)

Finally, we’re rid of the stupid sonic sunglasses and I’m sure toy retailers are rejoicing that hopefully the screwdriver will return. Anyway, with the aliens giving them 24 hours, the Doctor helps them prepare but deep down he knows they can’t outfight these aliens, and if they did they’d make the planet a target. The answer is using deception to humiliate them (really, electric eels, how convenient they just happened to have those)

To be honest, whilst most of the characters are pretty dull and one-dimentional, I don’t have the problem with most of the episode, until the very end where, spoilers, the Doctor heals ‘the girl who died’ with some magical patch that the alien had on him, knowing it would make her immortal.

First off, way to rip off Captain Jack Harkness’ immortality through bullsh*t science. Then let’s get down to why I hate this. Why does the alien have immortality patches, why hasn’t it used them on himself? If it’s because it’s more honourable to die then I refer you to my first question

Why did he have 2 on him, was the first one going to run out? Why would the Doctor use this untested technology not knowing how it would interact with humans? Why did he think a patch designed to heal would work on a corpse? WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS THING EXIST?!

Rating 4/10

OK, I didn’t speak too much about Maisie Williams, who played Ashildr in these episodes, she was in Game of Thrones and I don’t care because I don’t watch Game of Thrones (sue me, I don’t watch every episode of every TV series ever, I’m not watching Gotham or Arrow this year so far)

First off, this episode is relatively standalone, much like the last episode was, it would've helped the story, I think to have had at least the 2-part Zygon invasion arc between these two stories, just to give the audience a better impression of time having passed

So, the Doctor meets a mystery highway woman who turns out to be Ashildr, a woman whose many years of life have left her cold and craving something new, so when a mysterious alien offers her that opportunity, she grasps it and her actions lead her into contact with the Doctor, but will they be friends or enemies?

There was a trailer for series 8, a line was like ‘I’ve made a lot of mistakes, it’s time I did something about them’ this was the first episode that felt like it was delivering on that, shame it’s the wrong season but effort appreciated none-the-less

I really liked this episode. This 2-parter was 2 slightly connected standalone episodes, which is good because there’s a stark contrast in quality. Fewer characters, more personal interactions, some very interesting emotional discussions. Some genuinely amusing moments and an appearance by a famous comedian that didn’t actually suck

Both episodes with James Corden sucked, The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe sucked but this one didn’t, surprisingly. Rufus Hound is a good actor and found a great calling here, a man about to be hanged and trying to keep an audience because he likely drank to high heaven knowing the noose was waiting for him

The only real disappointment here is the alien himself. His plan was to use a stupid relic that uses the death of someone to open a portal to allow his people to invade. Let’s hear Batman’s take on this

This episode was rather light on Clara leading me to the worrying conclusion that there’s a Clara-heavy Doctor-lite episode coming. But I think given what this episode was supposed to accomplish, she would’ve been a detriment. Plus it's a relief to hear that Clara still has some element of a normal life outside the TARDIS

Oh and the sonic sunglasses are back, yay….

Rating 8/10

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Images used in this review are from Doctor Who and clips from Justice League Unlimited and belong to their respective owners. All images in this review are subject to fair use

In case you're wondering, no I'm not gonna mention the fact they referenced Captain Jack, I'm still getting the bad taste of Torchwood: Miracle Day (unless I do it episode by episode, I will not be reviewing it, I'm in no mood to watch 10 hours of that sh*t) out of my mouth.