TV Retrospective - The Sarah Jane Adventures Series 2 Part 2 - Secrets of the Stars/Mark of the Bezerker

We return to the second series of Sarah Jane adventures with Secrets of the Stars and Mark of the Bezerker

Secrets of the Stars part 1

It’s another night in the universe and this guy’s giving a load of codswallop known as astrology. When his client admits that paying him means they’re falling behind on the mortgage he returns the money and states that he’s a fraud. Suddenly a meteor begins falling and he conveniently is hit by it. His name is Martin Truman, he grabs the client’s shoulder and she screams as red energy passes into her.

So Clyde, Luke and Rani are heading to a free… something Martin Truman is doing. Packed house too, what’s that expression the Joker once said

If you get a packed house you can charge money, not everyone would come but enough would I’d wager. As part of the show everyone has to give their names and date of birth, and presumably sign some type of data protection clause allowing them to give that information out publicly. Anyway, Haresh, Gita and Sarah Jane arrive, Sarah interested in a story and Gita just wanting them to have a night out. Well… it’s free.

So, the client’s name is Cheryl, and she’s now Mr Truman’s assistant thanks to whatever the red energy was. Her husband, Stuart arrives to try and talk her out of it and the argument is made conveniently so Sarah Jane and Rani can hear. So with the crew sitting conveniently close together and Truman heads on stage. Sarah Jane scans him with her watch as Truman demonstrates some kind of mental control, much to Clyde’s embarrassment. He casually reveals information about people to the audience in a way that may not be comforting to them. And to ensure it isn’t a plant, he does Rani and Sarah Jane herself. OK, the explanation for what’s happening here may just be the worst one yet, we’ll get to it. He warns that she is about to face another battle and she will lose.

After the show, Truman tells Cheryl that events will transpire meaning he can speak to wider audience, negating the need for the shows. Also, negating the accuracy since I’m pretty sure more than 1 person has the same birth-date and star sign. Anyway, a reporter from Paranormal planet says their intended candidate for a live interview fell down the stairs in her bungalow. I’m speechless as to how that was ignored. She offers him the interview slot and he accepts.

Sarah Jane calls Mr Smith and finds nothing unusual. Sarah Jane suspects he’s using a bio-damper, a device to mask alien technology. Truman mentions something about the ancient lights, and knows that Sarah Jane will try and stop the broadcast, but forces are against her on that front.

Luke is sulking the next morning, watching something on TV, knowing that he was never ‘born’ in light of everything has made him feel more of an outsider. Sarah Jane gives him that you’re special that honestly doesn’t speak to the root of the problem. He plans to do some research on astrology to help. Rani offers to help. Luke discovers from Mr Smith that astrology is embedded in the cultures of almost every inhabited planet.

Sarah Jane and Rani confront Truman but he reveals he can shoot laser beams out of his fingers because SHUT UP. She escapes but Truman knows she’ll try and interfere again and needs someone to slow her down. Having already left a psychic imprint in Clyde, a Gemini. He confronts Clyde, takes away his phone and kidnaps him. Rani’s coat was burned in the attack but Mr Smith can’t detect what did it. Rani tries to call Clyde but Truman hangs up, he grabs Clyde’s shoulder.

So, want to hear the explanation, it’s a doozy. The ancient lights come from a universe that pre-dated ours where astrology worked. I need therapy to shake off this level of stupid! What they’re saying is like saying if I go to Mars, they’ll be air there because I’m from a world where there is air. The constellations and the stars could’ve been completely different then and each planet has a different variation on astrology, are you telling me that every single planet and star in the universe had an exact double in the old universe, because that’s the only way this could work? Except it can’t, it’s complete bollocks and I need more therapy.

I’m going to completely ignore the rest of it. Martin Truman is to appear on Paranormal Planet, being broadcast on every channel across the planet. Good thing the entire planet doesn't speaks English. Truman knocks out the reporter and her camera women. Is no-one watching a DVD or reading or book or sleeping right now or just not being at home. Clyde arrives and the camera shakes and a fan begins blowing.

On one hand, I really like some elements of this episode but the main thrust of the plot makes no sense and I cannot ignore that

Rating 5/10

Secrets of the Stars part 2

Previously – lots of bullsh*t, I’ll try to the best of my ability to be fair to the second half but expect the rant to come back if they really think I’m that dumb.

Sarah Jane manages to talk Clyde down but he’s not entirely out. And oh, for god’s sake, turn off the TV or read book, leave the room, go to bed, do something! Gita is hypnotised. Sarah Jane convinces Clyde to let Rani and Luke leave, it’s not just Gita though, it’s everyone who’s Gemini, Cancer is the next to undergo hypnosis, they plan to find a circle and join it. Clyde is about to make good on his promise but when Luke touches him he is freed. Pity it’s only him, and they’ve got news broadcasts around the world.

Leo is the next to fall under hypnosis. Sarah Jane thinks that confronting him and forcing him to do something he wouldn’t naturally do is what freed Clyde. And she plans to do something similar with Truman. Libra is the next to fall under their control, with Scorpio soon to follow. Gita and several other Geminis join Truman as his inner circle. Sarah Jane arrives at the theatre as Sagittarius is called to the circle. Clyde tries to convince the circle protecting the theatre that he’s part of their inner circle, it’s touch and go but it’s successful as Capricorn are called. Truman senses Clyde being in the building and as Luke and Rani branch off to cut off the theatre’s power, Cheryl captures Sarah Jane and Clyde.

Naturally Sarah Jane’s attempts end up failing, Pieces is then calls to join the circle. The theatre becomes a beacon for the ancient lights. Rani and Luke find the power cut-off but Rani can’t touch it and Ares become the next among the group to be enslaved. Luke finds he can touch the shut off switch but Truman is less than impressed. Luke soon realises what’s happening and he can control it, he joins the circle and in doing so frees everyone from his control. Truman sees his life has no purpose and is taken with the ancient lights who won’t be able to exist again.  

Rani has a reunion with her parents and Clyde laments over his lost phone. Luke gets over his existential crisis and bla bla bla bla, we’re not going to mention this ever again so...

I’m just glad this is over. It’s better than the first half but this half didn’t have the bullsh*t explanation for it all.

Rating 6/10

Mark of the Bezerker part 1

We open in detention, since it’s at the school it’s time to introduce more characters who will be in this episode and never again. Example, Jacob, who got detention after getting into a fight which is seemingly out of character. He also has a weird tattoo on his hand. The other detentionees call him a freak for some reason and rile him up. When he shouts for them to shut up, the lead bully loses his voice, he does the same to his teacher for some reason. Rani is watching from outside as Jacob notices his tattoo is moving up his skin, he runs into the bathroom and sees it grow across his face.

Jacob takes off a necklace and begs it to make it stop. It does so, he throws it on the ground. Rani picks it up after he leaves. She deliberately went in the boy’s bathroom. Just sayin’. Anyway, Jacob was watching her as she left.

Luke is coming round to Clyde’s to stay over the night. We finally meet Clyde’s mother, Carla. Sarah Jane is heading out of town to do an article on hospital hygiene, or so she says. Apparently Friday night is when Clyde cooks. Erm, perhaps when a friend is staying around you can make an exception, maybe? Gita’s away for the weekend so Rani and Haresh are debating takeaway. Haresh doesn’t like Chinese but Rani quickly changes his mind, alarmingly quickly. She soon realises she can make her dad do whatever she wants but it soon gets out of hand and she puts a stop to it, she finds a tattoo on her hand.

The doorbell rings and it’s Jacob, he found the device by the school pipes where they were doing work. He liked it and initially he had some fun, since he’s clearly not the most popular kid, probably not with audiences either since we never see him again after this story. He says it begins to exert an influence on people after they use it for a while. Rani decides to hide it away at Sarah Jane’s house.

Luke discovers Clyde’s penchant for art, another talent he hasn’t mentioned until now. Luke jokingly calls him dad but then retracts, realising that his father is a sensitive issue, even if Clyde doesn’t acknowledge it. The next morning there’s a ring at the door, it’s Clyde’s father. Rani’s beginning to feel some withdrawal, even if she doesn’t really say anything. This show does wonders with motif sound effects in this episode, you can always tell.

So, Clyde’s father has been away for 5 years, he lives in Germany. Clyde reveals he initially blames his mother for his disappearance and it cost him dearly, he got expelled from his school. Clyde agrees to spend a day with him but asks that he stay outside while he gets ready. Rani draws a picture of the symbol on the necklace and tries to subtly gain advice from her father. But she already knows what she was going to do, she created leading questions to get the answers she wanted and hence some form of approval. She calls Luke and has meet them at the school

Clyde begins to ask her father questions what happened, he could see they weren’t getting on and decided the best way to go about this was to run off with her sister. See he took lessons from Oliver f*cking Queen! Luke says goodbye to Carla, who’s clearly still a bit shaken by it all. Luke keeps it sensitive and actually remembers to act, dare I say, 'human,' he doesn’t say ‘I don’t have a father’ straight off is what I mean.

So, after some basic German I learned in my first ever German lessen. Ich heiße “Rage Issues.”

Anyway, they talk about Luke and Clyde is offended at the idea that he only hangs around with Luke to look clever, he dances around drawing, and goes to secret things, ultimately revealing that he saves the world. Sarah Jane would not be happy.

Luke and Rani find nothing at the school, Luke suggests maybe Mr Smith will work for him and they decide to return to her house. The most broken into house in the f*cking universe. Clyde loudly and publicly explains things he really shouldn’t be saying loudly or in public but his father doesn’t exactly believe him anyway. Speaking of breaking in, the two head to Bannerman road to prove his point. Of course Mr Smith is inactive but there’s alien tech including a message sent to Maria. Clyde’s father considers the potential profits of such business because the felt a need to hammer in the fact that he’s a sleezy scumbag. Trust me, he ran off with his wife’s sister, we have not forgotten. He eyes the Bezerker necklace and takes it as Clyde prattles on.

Clyde is caught by Haresh because they need something for him to do this episode aside from the embarrassing stuff earlier. Plus we need to be reminded he doesn’t like Clyde, again. Of course, the embarrassment continues as he’s ordered to exercise. Luke and Rani arrive and Rani realises immediately that Clyde’s father has the necklace. Clyde tries to defend his father but ultimately his father makes him forget them

It’s a very intriguing episode and begins to look deeper at Clyde, Sarah Jane Adventures is back on form, and there’s hardly any Sarah Jane.

Rating 8/10

Mark of the Bezerker part 2

Paul continues using the pendant, causing Clyde not to worry about his mother or the pendant. Rani and Luke decide given the urgency of the situation it’s best to call in Sarah Jane. She’s currently in a very empty hospital looking for a Travist Polong, a slug like creature that will reappear in a later episode.

She sees it but find it’s in a no phone zone. With that option out they decide to call in some old friends, Maria and Alan. Maria at least knows about Rani so that awkwardness is saved for us. Luke asks Alan to search for any information on the pendant on the UNIT database. They use Rani’s drawing as a reference point.

At a Porsche showroom, the showman does the worst job I’ve ever seen. “This is a bit on the expensive side” is probably one of the many sales lines barred from any sales patter. Anyway, because of the necklace, he gets it for free, so all he has do is get it taxed and insured and… Yeah, like that’s happening, be prepared to be pulled over by police the moment they spot you. Luke tries to call Clyde but he’s having none of it. Haresh isn’t stopping the push-ups.

UNIT have information on the necklace, it belonged to a race called the bezerkers, who used these to build up their army. The more it’s used the more it changes you and the Bezerker takes control. Clyde is in real danger from this. They use more UNIT to track Clyde’s phone. Although, no-one told Clyde to forget about Maria.

Luke and Paul go shopping as the Bezerker continues to take hold. Clyde’s anger over him leaving begins to grow and their expedition is cut temporarily short. The Bezerker allows Clyde to get over it, Paul wants to take Clyde travelling on a Yacht, but Clyde mentions his mother and he makes her forget her as well. Luke and Rani team up with Clyde’s mother and upgrade her sat-nav with phone tracking tech from Alan. They promise to let Sarah Jane know as soon as they can. Maria has an idea to help further.

Paul begins to feel the Bezerker take over as they arrive at the harbour. It gets worse as Carla, Luke and Rani arrive. But before things get really out of hand Sarah Jane arrives. Clyde remembers Sarah Jane and needs her help more than ever. Brave heart, Tegan, I mean Clyde. Sarah Jane convinces Clyde to try and summon his memories. Even Carla begins helping, Sarah Jane shows him his face in the mirror. Memories flash and begins to work, the tattoo fades and he tears off the necklace, undoing the mind control.

Clyde says he could use the Bezerker necklace to make the two love each other again, they say it wouldn’t be real. Plus, the turning into a monster thing probably doesn’t work out well either. Paul admits he ran off because Mel’s pregnant and he remembered what a lousy dad he was to Clyde. Clyde convinces him not to evade responsibility this time. Clyde uses the necklace to make Carla forget about everything, then throws the necklace away into the harbour ready to be picked up by the next random sap who dredges it. Quick question, doesn’t the mind control wear off if that happens?

Clyde apologises to Sarah Jane but she understands and there’s a bit of foreshadowing about Sarah Jane’s parents again. We will get to that next time.

It’s a good ending if one minor slip up, last appearances of Maria and Alan for the rest of the show’s run.

Rating 8.5/10

Next time we see the return of many old adversaries, and an old friend.