Doctor Who Series 10 episodes 8-9 review - The Lie of the Land/The Empress of Mars

Sorry this episode ended up late. Congratulations Tokio Meyers, and my condolences to everyone in London affected by the attack. Now I’ve officially made this review dated, let’s get to the matter at hand. I'll add the images

The Lie of the Land

  

So, because of reasons, the monks, who still haven’t got a proper race name, have taken over the word and used a device powered by Bill’s brainwaves (or something) to make people think they’ve been on Earth for years.

This episode kind of reminds me of Last of the Timelords, except without all the sh*tty moments which comprised most of that episode. The episode is largely focused around Bill, and her reactions to the world which she in part created. The focus on her having ‘conversations?’ with her passed mother, or at least how she views her passed mother is not only interesting for her character but it also becomes an important plot point.

Of course, they can’t keep the Doctor out of this story for long so after an elongated and not at all funny sequence, he reveals he’s managed to convert a few people so they can die… I mean die… I mean die… I mean, help? But most likely die as the Monks reveal they’re basically like those Silence monsters we haven’t seen since Matt Smith’s departure

So, now we know why the Missy scenes were in Extremis despite the fact they connected to literally nothing in that episodes. Needing someone smart to talk to, the Doctor goes to Missy and by a lucky co-incidence, she’s encountered the monks before. OK, she’s regretting her actions and some sh*t I’m sure someone believes somewhere. It’s possible her path to goodness maybe real but it’s almost inevitable she’ll fall, maybe John Simm’s return will have something to do with that.

So, she says that to break the monk’s spell, Bill will have to go into a brain-dead coma, have her mind wiped entirely and be left nothing but a husk, an option which Bill is considering, much like she was considering the deal in the last episode. But the Doctor has a plan, which gets a few people killed and ultimately results in failure because it has to be Bill who saves the day in this one

The conversation between Bill and the Doctor at the end absolutely perfect for their dynamic. The Doctor’s sight is back, and I think that’s a missed opportunity but this is a better episode than the previous 2.

Oh and Nardole isn’t funny this episode, he’s less funny than usual and aside from a pointless scene where he uses a knock out grip taken straight out of Star Trek (not the first reference to it recently) he’s relatively pointless

Rating 8/10

Empress of Mars

I’m going to break form and skip the opening ‘joke’ and get to the point. When the Doctor and Bill find a satellite communication from Mars displays a polar region ‘god save the queen’ they head to the source in the 1800s to investigate. A group of british soldiers, naturally one of them a complete moron/douchebag have somehow helped a native ice warrior repair his ship and get home, in exchange for riches that are supposedly found. Instead an Empress’ tomb and more ice warriors await to be awakened. Can humanity survive?

OK, for the most part, this is a fairly standard, the Doctor comes in on the human side but when the circumstances change and the humans become the invaders he tries to act as a negotiator to prevent human casualties, knowing the ice warriors from previous episodes have superior firepower, and the ability to turn people into bad special effects. Of course, that one human asshat has to ruin everything as is tradition. So battles happen, the humans continue to be stupid, people die and there is an ultimate end.

Ok, so issues with this episode and I have a couple. Bill is not just there to spill out pop culture references! I know she’s a fan of movies, I guess, but Bill does very little else in this episode, especially since that in spite of all this pop culture, this episode is one of the least funny this season.

Second off, let’s talk about the characters, specifically the one black character in the entire group. Just by what I just said, you can guess his odds for survival are less than 0. Then chuck in conversation about his home family and yeah, there’s no surprise when he was thrown under the bus and died. Seriously, Doctor Who, which does this kind of stuff a lot can do a lot than chuck in horror movie clichés.

Oh and then there’s Nardole’s adventures in the TARDIS, they clearly just wanted him out of the episode and probably and an excuse for the Doctor to stay put. It was largely pointless, there are cleverer ways that could’ve been done and just left Nardole to guard the vault rather than have a pointless Missy Cameo, I wonder if the writer was forced to do that, he’s done good work for the show in the past.

Also, really not sure what the point was of setting it in Victorian era. Ice Warriors have popped up in 20^th century Earth but there’s really no reason to have this many ice warriors awake this early, aside from having them go up against humans that don’t realise that if you shoot something and it’s bulletproof, you might need a better gun.

I’m saying a lot of negative things about this episode, so here’s another. OK, so the Captain guy who was initially in charge before the asshat took over had been hung but survived. OK… how the hell did he get back in command, hell how did he escape at all, I can’t imagine there’s a time limit and no guards!

OK, I think I’m done with the negatives. Some positives, I still like the Doctor in the episode, glad Nardole wasn’t in much, Missy was only in 5 seconds, don’t know if that’s a positive, the environments looked nice, I liked the Ice Warrior empress and I also liked how the battle ultimately ended. I thought it was a good display of the morality of the Ice Warriors, who aren’t the cut-throat villains like the Daleks.

It's a decent episode, not quite as good as some of the others this season, but a solid one none-the-less.

Rating 7.5/10