4 issue test #2 - Teen Titans (DCYou)

I love the Teen Titans, before the New 52, before Felecia D Henderson ruined just about everything just for JT Krul to a decent job at reviving it from the brink but then came the New 52. I read the first few issues of the new 52 Teen Titans, I currently own the first vol trade, which is OK and the culling, which is a confusing messy piece of sh*t (maybe another time but Linkara covered it fairly well) and of course of the worst thing ever to happen to Tim Drake, issue 0. At this point, I gave up on Lobdell’s area of comics (Titans and Superboy and there was no way in hell I was picking up his Superman book) but the book was cancelled and then rebooted with a new team on board. So, I figured I’d take a look.

Taking the helm of Teen Titans is Will Pfeifer. His works include Amazons Attack, a story that despite the Amazonian nature, barely features Wonder Woman (and go ahead and watch Linkara’s video on that too) and has barely written anything at all since 2008. OK… those are not good signs, let’s dig into the first 4 issues of Teen Titans and see if it’s any good.

Before we start, let’s just analyse the cover of issue 1, and I’ll be blunt, it SUCKS! Let’s start with the main image, and action shot with all the main characters in it, what the heck is up with Wonder Girl there. Her arms look like they’ve been replaced with robotic enhancements, and her breasts… OK, I’ve read the controversies and for what it’s worth, Pfeifer’s response to the criticisms and the controversy that surrounded it was a well-meaning respectful one.

But it’s not the main image that really irritates me about the cover, it’s just about everything else. Why have they made it look like a facebook image with name tags? What’s with the incomplete ads on the left side? Why is the photo at an angle? Why is there a search bar? And what is with the hashtags #new_direction #more_attitude #in_your_face!? We don’t live in the 90s anymore, so no-one cares if a book has more “attitude” also “in your face?” You’re insulting the reader before they’ve even started reading! Also, the social media references all seem a bit desperate. Hey, cool kids like social media, so let’s make our comic cover look like a social media page, despite the fact it doesn’t and carries a stupid name “chirper.”

OK, so let’s get down to the actual content of the issue.  We open in Times Square. Cassie AKA Wonder Girl (and if you don’t know that already, there’s a convenient caption) is talking about how she has no relationship with her mother but then the signal is lost. A mysterious image appears in an advertising screen and announces that there’s a school bus heading down Broadway that’s been hijacked by a bunch of armed men.

Red Robin makes a call from somewhere and tells Wonder Girl that she needs to catch that bus, she’s quickly changed and begins pursuit. Tim Drake AKA Red Robin (again, if you couldn’t remember this, there’s a caption that tells you) is atop a 2000ft skyscraper for some reason and tells Cassie to keep an eye out, rather than taking the creeps out because he believes something bigger is going on.

There’s some ranting from the armed leader about Star Labs research and its ethical repercussions or something. Robin contacts Miguel Jose Barragan aka Bunker and Gar Logan aka Beast Boy (obviously). NOT FUNNY, if it was obvious, why put the caption box in at all? Anyway, he tells Beast Boy to go after the bus, while Bunker heads to STAR Labs as it seems a likely target.

Inside STAR labs we see that some of the statements made by the lunatic could be accurate. But it’s commented that unless the bus has some serious explosives they can’t detect, even if the bus hits, it won’t get through. A guy who at the moment is referred to as Black comments that he thinks the Titans will save the day.

The leader/lunatic after noticing Wonder Girl aboard decides to take a girl named Nancy from the bus and her associate is about about to kill her when Wonder Girl rips him out of the bus and punches him onto the road. Head on collision with the road after been thrown off a moving bus, yeah, he’s dead. No wait, Beast Boy thinks he might still be alive. Red Robin wants Beast Boy on the bus but to be as inconspicuous as possible so they might find out what’s really going on. Bunker is now outside Star Labs but wonders what Red Robin and Raven are doing, Red Robin simply replies that he’ll find out soon and glides off the building.

Another one of the lunatic’s associates throws Nancy off the back of the bus, but by the wonder that is plot convenience Red Robin is able to save her at the very last second (how is he gliding so low anyway) the associate becomes scared that there are more of them, but the lunatic says that she’s planned for it, but the associate (Joseph apparently) has not, Beast Boy appears in the bus, whispering into Joseph’s ear before turning into a tiger and batting him out of the bus

As more associates train their guns on Beast Boy, Raven, who I can only assume was a passenger on the bus (although god knows why) strikes and erm… does something. The lunatic says it’s not over yet and activates bombs that STAR labs could not detect on the associates’ body armours. Raven can’t disarm them because they’re not mystical. That’s stretching it a bit if I’m honest.

Wonder Girl gets the 3 associates off the bus before their bombs explode, killing them (at least that’s what I assume happens since there’s no way Cassie could get off their jackets in less than 3 seconds. But the danger isn’t over yet. The bus has been sabotaged so the breaks don’t work and the gas is on max, Raven’s contribution is that it isn’t mystical, so she can't do anything (that's becoming a bit of a pattern in this book). Beast Boy tries pulling the keys out whilst comments that there are too many people to zap off the bus in time.

Thankfully Bunker slows the bus down with his ability to create brick walls or whatever it is. Meanwhile in the northern tip of Governors Island, the second stage of star labs a guard is killed by the lunatic.

 

This  cover is better than the first one, except it only features 2 members of the team, the others are in the book

Issue 2 opens with another bullsh*t attempt to be cool by referencing social media. It doesn’t work, stop it now! Bunker has recently attacked a homophobic bully and he’s making a speech about it doesn’t matter whether people like him are male, female, good, evil, straight or gay, they’re all dangerous (good job undermining your own message, also, I know Bunker’s gay because I read the old comic but this is the first time it’s been brought up in this comic series)

Beast Boy tells Bunker to lighten up (I was under the impression Bunker was a light-hearted character, pretty sure he was in the Lobdell books.) telling him not to get so worked off over one guys and we get the speech but it’s not one but thousands. (Look, you’re not a PSA comic. I’m all for equal rights and opportunities regardless of age, gender, sexuality, race or religion but your message is not helped by assaulting people who don’t believe in it) Miguel gets annoyed and sends a brick through Beast Boy’s ear canal whilst he’s in elephant form, and it hurts. (Violence solves everything)

We cut to Star Labs and the suicide bomber Wonder Girl threw off the bus. His vest never detonated, but there’s a lot of broken bones to heal. The Doctors leave with Red Robin standing on the ceiling to interrogate him for some reason (look, you’re not Batman, that doesn’t look scary). He says he knows nothing about the identity of his employer but does know some of his associates were contacted for different jobs, before he can mention one his heart gives out and he dies. The Doctors enter and find that all the morphine in his drip had gone in at once.

We see a girl, Thereas Ciero (who has no known superhero identity, and given that they tell us that, twice, she probably will some time soon) talk to her mother before being ambushed by some thugs, she’s saved by a bunch of people in Wonder Girl outfits. On Governor’s Island Josia Power (is that a reference to Derek Powers from Batman Beyond, cool) and Manchester Black (I’ll get to him in a moment) discuss the death of the guard and the possibility of relocating. Their downtown building then explodes.

Bunker and Beast Boy catch news of the fire on their phone (because we want young hip people to buy this comic) they suit up and head there within a minute (making you wonder why they didn’t see, feel or hear the explosion) A doctor and his young assistant explain they need to stop the flames reaching the 15^th floor, where 2 scientists are working on an important project that could kill everyone if unleashed (yeah, so glad you did that in the MIDDLE OF NEW YORK)

Bunker breaks into the building, with Beast Boy having left between panels and encounters the lunatic from the last issue. Bunker tries to call for help the but the lunatic has shut down comlinks “that has nothing to do with the fire, and everything to do with me, surprised?” might wanna work on this dialogue. So they fight, with Lunatic saying he wants this building burnt to the ground for revenge for something, Bunker eventually finds out that she’s a robot and lays the smack down on her, blowing her head off. Beast Boy has the scientists and it’s revealed that there are a bunch of fuel tanks of the 14^th floor that could explode if the fire hits, but the explosion is stopped by Bunker’s bricks. Beast Boy gives Bunker some positive publicity. 

Meanwhile Cassie’s mother watches the news and wonders what he daughter has gotten herself into. And we see a poster for a tribute show to Raven by Dark Mistress, Raven herself is amongst the audience. The lunatic, who we now know is called algorithm is already in a state of repair from the blown up head, and her boss is Manchester Black. He wants Star Labs to relocate, but to do so they need human casualties, he sends her to the Dark Mistress concert to kill some interns at star labs and everything else.

I’m not covering future’s end tie-in issues. So, let’s get to issue 3.

 

This is the monsters month variant cover, the issue I own has this cover, it's OK, but it doesn't reflect the issue in the slightest

We open at the concert where Raven is dancing and some stuff happens. One of the singers recognises her. In Battery Park Beast Boy and Bunker are heading home when a mugger tries to mug them. Bunker takes him down with a massive fist, which Beast Boy comments is overkill. Raven’s fans gush over her for a bit and she meets the star labs interns and comments on how she really saved them (hate to break it to you, she did f*ck all on that mission) algorithm then kills someone, I think

Raven protects the others from algorithm’s attacks, commenting on how she could summon any number of demons or demigods to help them deal with her, but chooses instead to call her friends. Wait, isn’t Raven a sort of sorceress who is telepathic and can create her soul self, where the heck does summoning demons come from? I’ve not seen any Raven in the New 52, since I gave up with Lobdell prior to her story, but seriously, what?

The others eventually arrive and upon discovering that she’s a robot, Wonder Girl smashes her head in and Beast Boy tramples her for good measure.  Some dude says that his ex-girlfriend is Wonder Girl’s gang, which confuses Cassie, as Raven heals the wounds of the injured intern. Red Robin thinks everything was too easy. The police arrive and get a report of the situation, one of the interns seems to have lost his lab badge and not a trace of the robot has been found.

Cassie’s mother calls in and asks about the gangs, Cassie has no idea about them, but her mother is forced to hang up as she’s surrounded by members of said gang. Red Robin is hacking into some Star Labs files but soon realises he’s been set up as the exits all lock down and he’s trapped with a newly reformed Algorithm, who knows his secret identity as Tim Drake.

Another decent cover, although missing prominent characters in the book

Issue 4 opens with Red Robin at the mercy of Algorithm, he escapes by throwing an electric batarang at her, which relinquishes her control of the building, this opens a door allowing Red Robin to escape. She recovers quickly and starts tracking him down but Red Robin shuts down the security cameras, temporarily preventing her from tracking him. Red Robin finds a file detailing a weapon to shut down nano-tech, but in a room without an entrance. He tries calling in some reinforcements.

Bunker, Beast Boy and Wonder Girl are walking down the street when they bump into Cassie’s mother and the Wonder Girl gang. As the gang gush over their idol, the team get the distress signal from Red Robin. Wonder Girl gives her mother keys and leaves her with the Wonder Girl gang, who assure her that she’s in safe hands (she isn’t).

Red Robin hides in an elevator, he presses the basement button and Algorithm sends the lift hurtling to the ground, Red Robin grapples out of the lift, leaving behind some explosives to blow open a hole into the concealed floor. He finds some weaponry but Algorithm soon catches up with him and knocks him out. As she’s about to deliver the killing blow, Manchester Black intervenes and says that he will not die today. Algorithm may have thought that was the plan, but her thinking that was part of his plan to destroy her, I think. Algorithm gets angry and goes after Manchester Black as Red Robin recovers.

Black has a camera on so as Algorithm threatens to kill her, Red Robin saves him (another convenient rescue) with the anti-nanotech gun. Manchester Black explains that whilst Star Labs did build her, she was working for someone else, and he wants to team up with the team to find out who and bring STAR labs out of the shadows (the name was mentioned on the news channels) Black offers the works, a base, equipment (both of which Tim has plenty of) and dental plans with “no strings attached”

The team arrive outside STAR, as the team work out a way in, Red Robin comes out with Manchester Black telling the team that they’ve partnered up and to ‘trade digits’ (because that’s what cool kids do) they’ve got work to do.

OK, so, is this comic good enough to get me reading Teen Titans again? Let’s take a closer look.

Well, there are some good things about this comic, the artwork, aside from Wonder Girl’s breast proportions, is pretty good. I like some of main story, I think the STAR labs angle is not a bad one to look at, I do question a lot of the choices they made with this arc but I’ll get to that in a moment. It also doesn’t fall for the Lobdell Syndrome of using closed captions in large quantities on every page, hell we only see them at all in issue 4, when Tim Drake is alone and it’s kinda necessary.

Now, we go onto the bad. Firstly, this tries way too hard to appeal to a young crowd. I’m fine with superheroes using social media but using their phones to see an explosion that couldn’t have been too far away given they got there in a minute is ludicrous and those not-tweets on issue 2 were unnecessary, then there’s the cover to issue 1 I’ve already covered in great length.

Raven is the most underutilised character. She brags a bit about her power but does so little using it, usually because of some bullshit excuse. Doesn’t know anything about bombs, you can still teleport people off the bus! She seems noticeably absent in issue 2 and barely appears in issue 4. Cassie’s disregard for her mother isn’t fun watching. She’s a teenager with a few hormones but come on, you will always love your mother and you wouldn’t just leave her with a bunch of obvious abductors. Bunker is too depressed and mopey, I swear he used to be a fun character, what the hell happened? He’s also portrayed as seemingly the most powerful member of the team, which he really isn’t.

The motivation of Algorithm is seemingly changing. First off she’s protesting against things STAR labs are working on. Then she wants revenge for something STAR Labs did to her, then she’s the flunky of Manchester Black, make up your mind.

Then there’s Manchester Black himself. It seems an odd choice of antagonist to me. Manchester Black is from a Superman comic called: Whatever happened to Truth, Justice and the American Way? He was the leader of a team of Super-powered anti-heroes called the Elite, and faced up against Superman (also, Superman vs the Elite is an excellent DC animated movie based on this comic) he was a telepath and telekinetic. What the heck has happened to him? He seems to have no powers now, because… He works for STAR labs because… He was the wrong villain to choose for this role.

Ratings:

Issue 1: 4.5/10

Issue 2: 4.5/10

Issue 3: 4.5/10

Issue 4: 4.5/10

Average: 4.5/10

Recommendation: It pains me to say that I do not recommend this series, it’s writing is pretty sub-par, and whilst not as bad as some of Lobdell’s stuff, it’s really not very good at all.

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Images used in this review are from Teen Titans #1-4 and belong to their respective owners. All images in this review are subject to fair use.