Guilty Pleasures #8 - Knight and Day

Can you go wrong with a movie starring Cameron Dias and Tom Cruise? This is another guilty pleasure that’s received mixed reviews from critics, with some calling it scattered and uneven, while others call it fun. But it was successful enough at the box office, gaining about double its budget back. I like this movie a lot, or at least I did when I last watched it, as I'm writing this review, it'll be the first time I've watched it in a long while. So let's dig into Knight and Day and see if it still holds up to me after 4 years.

20^th Century Fox, this is what, the 8^th movie I’ve reviewed from them?

That title looked so much cooler in the poster

We open in a care junk yard where random guy is walking through, am I turning on the right movie. There’s a dog barking in the background for some reason. He approaches Cameron Dias in overalls working on a car. Somewhere not in Argentina, Jeremy Clarkson is having an orgasm.

So, we cut to an airport where everyone but Tom Cruise's head is out of focus. He buys a sandwich and sees Cameron Dias coming up as he’s eating an ice crime, he plays an arcade game, and he looks over models. Isn't this guy supposed to be a secret agent or something? It might help your cover if you take off your sunglasses, you look very suspicious. He sees some Knight models (get it?) as Cameron Dias enters the building again, what? Was this scene edited out of order?

Cameron Dias (they haven't given me names yet, so why should I use them?) checks in but decides to take her heavy bag as hand-luggage.  Cruise eyes her for some reason. They bump into each other and Cruise helps pick up her stuff.

Of course Cameron Dias' bag has to be checked and she goes through them, and Jeremy Clarkson has another orgasm. They bump into each other again. She tries to board the plane but discovers she’s not booked on the flight, she panics because it's her sister's wedding tomorrow and this only flight that will make it in time.

Cruise boards the plane, giving Dias the line "sometimes things happen for a reason" and anyone and I mean anyone would now be curious rather than despondent.  Cut to two people in a car, one of whom is phone whilst driving, they state that they've spotted the agent on airport security and he may or may not have the 'zephyr' in his possession.

Cameron is now allowed a seat on the plane, as Tom detects movement in a garage… what? (apparently he has eyes on his family at home) The plane takes off, and then it's suddenly experiencing turbulence. And now as the characters finally introduce themselves we learn their names are Roy and June…  (Could've done with this about 2 minutes into the film, rather than about 10)

We get another few lines that would give Jeremy Clarkson an orgasm , and we get a small insight into the kind of man Roy is, using his lightning-fast reflexes, he saves the suitcase from dropping from the overhead locker. And now, since in the process June spilt her drink they go to the bathroom. Guys, the fasten seatbelt sign is still on! Might be dangerous!

She enters the bathroom and starts muttering about Roy's last lines, whilst on the plan, literally EVERYONE ATTACKS ROY! Yeah, I'm calling bullsh*t on this. There's no way, no way, that in the space of time it took for Roy to get on that plane, the secret agency managed to get everyone on the flight to be other agents, whilst also ensuring that no-one else was on the flight except June!

Because few people have ever heard of rushing someone, he easily kills every single passenger on the plane in increasingly ridiculous ways. He kills the co-pilot who whilst dying conveniently kills the pilot. June exits the bathroom and everything looks normal.  And because they've shared a few sentences together, she goes immediately to kiss him… She immediately retracts.

Please fit oxygen masks on yourself before helping others

He tries to calmly explain that the pilots of the plane are dead. And she takes it well; maybe she did have more tequila than we saw. Turbulence and steering then shows that everyone else on the plane is dead too. She panics, eventually and runs into the pilots' cabin, where Roy is trying to land the plane. June wonders why not land at an airport, and Roy says that 'they’ll be waiting for us.' And 'The less you know the better' typical secret agent language

They land on a road, and into a cornfield, where they slow to stop. As they leave, Roy gives June a drink, patches up a bullet wound and explains that bad people may come after her now, and she must say that she doesn't know him (which, to be fair, she doesn't), to avoid getting in vehicles, and beware words like 'safe' if said, particularly with she falls asleep, because the drink had a drug in it, and the aeroplane explodes, because Roy had filled it with gasoline (still convenient timing though).

Because I'm badass!

June wakes up in her house (how the hell did he know where she lived?) and left her breakfast and some messages. The news begins covering the broadcast. He meets Rodney, a fireman who happens to be her ex-boyfriend, having found her alive, and not questioning how that’s possible at all, he asks her out to dinner.

She drives away, muttering to herself as an agent takes photographs of her. As she gets measured up for the wedding (which is in a couple of days, she was lying to get on the plane) her sister drags her away and asks about selling the GTO she was planning to finish as a wedding present. April (the sister) says that she and her husband want their own place (and the price of a car that's not even finished would cover that? Then again, it is a GTO) June is obviously disappointed, but soon discovers that her car is about to be towed.

She is surrounded by agents, and forced into the car (great start) and we see that Roy was a former FBI until something happened. He begins to use those code-words. The drivers are shot and another action scene begins. It's on the freeway, and people are driving cars… This isn't the kind of action I can summarise easily. So Roy kills the agents, June screams, a lot, and she drives the wrong way down the freeway. These guys have the worst aim for secret agents ever. Apart from Roy, he has main character syndrome. June runs away, holding his pistol and after throwing the pistol away, boards a bus, and… What are the odds, Roy comes on board

June, you recognise me? I'm wearing glasses, the best disguise ever

June runs into the fire station and bumps into Rodney. They have pie, and he thinks they should re-establish a relationship. June talks about the plane crash, but of course Rodney doesn't believe it.  Roy enters the pie shop and he interrupts the conversation. They're now gonna have to stick together because of this situation. He handcuffs June and drags her away. Rodney pursues but Roy shoots him in a such a way that it didn't hit anything vital, but it did slow him down so Roy can get away. (See what I mean about main character syndrome. He can hit someone with pinpoint accuracy with a single bullet, yet people with machine guns couldn't hit him when he was on the roof of a car)

It's alright, my name is Tom Cruise, you can scream now

He races to the top of a multi-story car park where he gets out to change cars, he lets June know that her expectancy is much higher with him than without. Yeah, I'd believe him at this point, it's not like he's shown himself to be a murderous type, oh wait, yes he has.

In the next shot, they're at a filling station and he's come along, he gets another alert from the house from earlier. June changes out of the dress, seeing tales of her ex-boyfriend's heroism on the news. Roy shows he the knight statue, containing the zephyr. Apparently it contains basically unlimited power. He was assigned with agent Fitzgerald (the guy who earlier picked June up) to watch over Simon, who is the producer of the battery. But Fitzgerald was planning to sell it and kill Simon, Roy rescued Simon, but it was set up to look like Roy had gone rogue.

We arrive in Brooklyn, New York, in a shipping yard. Simon's gone, but he's left a lot of writing behind, including a message for Roy. June pretends to shoot outside, as mercenaries descend into the building. Roy helps her shoot them, before destroying the writing. And it's main character syndrome again, apparently these guys work for a spanish arms dealer. Roy looks for a way out, but gives June a gun, well, I can see where this leading, she shoots at Roy, but of course none of the shots hit him. Anyway, he drugs her again, as he's captured, escapes and heads to a remote island by several vehicles.

I've got to admit, that's a clever clue leaving system

She wakes up on the Island with Roy bringing in fish, she's also in a bikini, because… fan service? She wonders how he got into it. He makes some vague excuse and June runs off. A phone rings and and she sees movement in a house. Her phone rings, and she answers, because she's an idiot, she's also well out of range. She shows off some martial arts moves, which Roy easily evades, and he teaches her how to escape from a grip. But then a plane arrives, and starts bombarding the island.

They head to a helicopter, but when June's afraid, Roy knocks her out with a grip. She wakes up on the train in the Alps. Roy and Simon are together, June exits her room to find them, she bumps into someone who she thinks could be Simon, but clearly isn't that kind of smart (you're 10 times more likely to die on a train than on a plane….) but he says he is to trick her. She finds a message on her shoe telling her to stay in her room and Roy is with Simon. June tries to exit sneakily.

How old is this guy?

Simon is worried about the heat being generated by the zephyr. June's trick doesn't work, as the guy is on her trail. She heads into the kitchen where she's attacked by him, he tries to push her head into some kitchen oil, but it's time for another action scene. This guy apparently has reflexes too, and he's an assassin. Roy arrives and they fight, the assassin is eventually defeated.

The agents arrive at the station, but aside from seeing Roy briefly out the mirror, they find nothing. June opens the curtains at a hotel. Fitzgerald searches the station, and finds Roy, they chat… June catches Roy talking to a girl named Naomi on the phone. June decides to follow him to his secret meeting. Where he tries to sell the zephyr and they get kind of romantic.

Nobody screws the WALL!

She meets the CIA, where it's revealed that Roy used her engine part filled bag to carry the zephyr through security. They give her a pen to use as a transmitter to set Roy up. She arrives back at the hotel before Roy, who discovers the zephyr is getting hotter. She reveals that she followed him, and saw the arms deal, before clicking the pen. A swat team swing in, and they take Simon. Roy is running on the roof, helicopters and officers swarm around him, but he falls into the river. And if you really think that he's dead, I've got this bridge I'd like to sell you

June is taken home. And attends the wedding, barely able to accept what had happened. April thanks June (you know I swear there's a riddle about Aprils and Junes somewhere) for all her help at the reception, we see Simon taken somewhere in a car. Fitzgerald shoots his co-agent and he calls his client, saying they're taking Simon to Spain. June's back to work at the garage… but not for long, she deciphers the co-ordinates and heads out in the GTO I think (so much for the apartment for the married couple), but she soon realises she's being followed. She manages to ditch them in a road stunt. She sees the family surname is Knight (see the motif here) she soon discovers that it's not a safe-house of Roy's but the home of Roy's parents. (His name is likely a full cover) she leaves a message on her phone, saying she has the zephyr.

She is soon confronted by men working for the arms dealer, she is kidnapped and taken to spain. Where's they're celebrating the San Fermin festival. June is given a truth drug from the arms dealer himself.  And she reveals that she's realised the phone call and meeting were set up in order to get her to turn him in, so she'd get home safely. That worked so well. The arms dealer loses his patience when she suggests that Roy is alive, and guess what, he is

Fitzgerald arrives but says he wouldn't bring the boy directly to the fortress in fear of being double-crossed. They agreed to meet on neutral territory with the money. Roy has both of them being tracked, Simon is trapped in the boot of one of them. Roy notices June, and slowly takes out the guards escorting her.  He tells the final guard to call his boss and alert to him that Roy's alive and coming for him. They leave on a motor cycle with cars in pursuit.

Indiana Jones is coming...

They catch up with the car, but the bulls from the festival get in the way, forcing them to turn around. They turn down an alley and are blocked by a bull and a truck, they manage to out manoeuvre the bull and drive into a bull-fighting arena. One of the cars is destroyed by the bulls. June takes the guns and starts shooting at them, disabling a tire and sending it crashing into another.

June doesn't have weapons training, so I'm calling bullsh*t on this

Simon manages to activate the car alarm. Fitzgerald takes Simon out the car, and holds him at gunpoint, forcing Roy to disarm himself and give Fitzgerald the battery. Simon tries to say he'll make another one, so Fitzgerald tries to shoot him. Roy knew the battery was unstable and gave it to Fitz deliberately and it explodes while they're in the air. June finds her way to Roy, to discover that he took the bullet for Simon.

It ends as it began, with an explosion - Michael Bay?

Roy is air-lifted to a hospital in America, where the head of the CIA division realises that she was wrong and helps. She reveals that Simon has a new lab, and June was sent home (yeah… right, that worked so well last time) a nurse comes in and offers him a drink, and I think you can all see where this is going. Yup, it's June, and she just drugged him, she wheels him out of the hospital via the mortuary and drives away. Roy awakens on a beach, in new clothes and she gives basically the same excuse as to how she got him into them. They're heading to Cape Horn, one of those things on  Miller's bucket list. And the movie draws to a close, one more scene: The Knight family get tickets to Cape Horn, for a promising reunion.

My my haven't the tables turned

So, does this movie hold up? Yeah, I had a blast watching it. Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz have excellent chemistry on screen together, which is excellent, as it’s the centrepiece of the story. It is a story strung around a lot of action sequences, but it's surprisingly deep for this kind of movie. Although some may argue that it's quite over-complicated

Yeah, someone wanna convince me nothing in this scene is CGI? Because I'm pretty sure there's something

Suspension of disbelief may be tested here: particularly with the plane sequence and the fact that up against multiple armed felons Roy can dispatch them without taking a bullet. The villains are strictly one-note, they’re after the zephyr because it's powerful and we get no insight on what they want to use it for, but the villains are not the centrepiece of the movie. The growing relationship (which grows leaps in bounds in some possibly unrealistic ways) is the key, and it's handled fairly well considering that it's also an action movie. My only major complaint is how June turns around, it's a surprisingly rushed climax, considering the movie had been building it.

You're gonna regret stuffing me in the trunk

In general I just call it fun to watch, it's violent, yes, but it never gets gory, probably to hold onto a 12/PG-13 rating, and to be honest I’m thankful for that.

I do recommend, if you like these actors, or this genre that you watch this movie, it's far from perfect but it should be decent way to spend the next 112 minutes.

Rage Rating: -100%

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Images used in this review are from Knight and Day and belong to their respective owners. All images/clips in this review are subject to fair use.